


Lost Cause?

by Chaotic_Cate



Series: Varian Desperately Needs a Hug [1]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Angst, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Incarcerated Varian (Disney), Sad Varian (Disney), Trauma, Trials, Trust, Varian Has Issues (Disney), Varian Needs a Hug (Disney), Varian Redemption (Disney), Varian angst, Varian whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23316379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaotic_Cate/pseuds/Chaotic_Cate
Summary: Set during Varian's time in prison after the end of Season 1. We see Varian through his heartbreaking struggle with guilt and grief, his trial, and beyond."At the time of his crimes, Varian felt like he was backed into a corner, and the only option was to fight his way out. Right now, he really was backed into a corner, but this time he knew better than to fight."
Relationships: Queen Arianna of Corona & Varian (Disney), Ruddiger & Varian (Disney), varian & Captain of Corona’s Guard (Disney)
Series: Varian Desperately Needs a Hug [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693492
Comments: 118
Kudos: 201





	1. Chapter 1

Despite protests from the infirmary staff, the Captain wanted to be present to see to it that the boy was securely locked away. So, when the cart drew up to the palace, the Captain was there awaiting its arrival.

When it came to a halt, the Captain peered inside through the bars. The dim lighting made him difficult to see, but in a crumpled heap at the back of the crate, sat Varian. The boy who had just caused so much pain, fear and chaos now looked young, small and afraid. Varian's expression remained a solid scowl, and he averted eye contact with any of the guards. But if you looked a little harder, you'd notice his chained hands trembling, the pools in his eyes threatening to spill over, and the little raccoon trying to comfort the troubled child by purring into his side.

Two guards, Pete and Stan, joined the captain at the back of the cart. They opened the door and stepped inside to roughly grab Varian by his underarms and pull him to his feet. Varian's expression faltered for a moment at the jarring interaction, but when he regained his balance, he regained his composure too. Ruddiger was ignored by the guards, but he stayed close to Varian. He weaved around his boy's ankles with each step, unwilling to leave Varian's side.

.

.

.

The dungeon was a massive place, and Corona was a peaceful kingdom, meaning there were only a few occupied cells. Varian was placed at the far end of a completely unoccupied corridor. The only source of light came from a tiny rectangular window at the top of the wall where the stone wall meets the stone ceiling. The dungeon was dark, damp and cold. When he arrived at his cell, one of the guards opened up the wide barred door and the Captain pushed Varian in and then stepped in himself. The Captain picked up the end of a steel shackle and chain that was mounted into the back wall of the cell, and he clamped it around Varian's ankle, as tightly as it allowed. Varian winced when it pinched his skin. The Captain ignored his discomfort and tugged the shackle around to ensure it was secure. Then, the Captain pulled Varian's goggles off his head, unbuckled his apron from around his neck, pulled off his gloves, and then even took Varian's boots from his feet. All of his personal items were placed in the doorway and collected by Pete. Varian was patted down, head to toe, searching for anything the young prodigy may have hidden on his person. Varian made feeble attempts to shrug or bat the man’s hands away but the stoic guard continued as if he hadn’t even noticed, though admittedly, he hurried through the process for the boy’s sake. The captain only found what appeared to be non threatening junk in Varian's pockets, but he took it all away regardless. It wasn't until this point when the Captain left the cell, now waiting on the other side of the barred door. Stan entered and took the original shackles off Varian's ankles and wrists. Varian instinctively gave each of his wrists a soothing rub where they were red from the ever tugging shackles, but other than that he stayed very still as the guards exited the room.

"Cap, what do we do about the racoon?" asked the skinnier of the two guards.

The captain turned his answer to Varian first. "The racoon can stay for now." he said, looking at the teen, who kept his glaring eyes glued to the ground. "But, it too will be considered a prisoner, no coming and going. The animal is not guilty of anything so if it wants to leave, it can, but it won't be welcome back." The Captain barked and Varian's heart thumped with guilt.

He knows he should tell Ruddiger to leave, or tell the men to take him and find him a nice place to live… but the selfish side of Varian doubts that he'd even make it one night without Ruddiger here with him. Ruddiger was all he had left, he was the only thing Varian had left to lose. The one thing that gave him any shred of sanity, not that Varian was ready to admit that to himself. Even so, Varian stayed quiet and still, neglecting to even say something spiteful. Varian could feel his rage dwindling. He felt the flame begin flickering out the moment he was taken down back in Old Corona. Without his anger, he just felt… empty.

The guards stomped back down the long empty corridor. They were out of sight before they were out of earshot. Varian waited until they were obviously a great distance away to let down his guard. When he was finally sure he was alone (except for Ruddiger of course) Varian allowed some of the tension in his body to release. He quickly scanned his soundings. Stone walls that were visibly damp. A cot attached to the wall with chains, topped with a flat pillow and a thick and rough looking wool blanket. A thick chain, securely mounted into the back wall, and on the other end securely shackled to Varian's slim left leg. A tiny window, allowing a slit of moonlight to shine in, far above Varian's sightline. And well… not much else. Varian took a couple steps back and leaned against the wall before sliding to the floor and wrapping his arms around his shaking knees.

Ruddiger nudged Varian's elbow up and scurried into his lap. Varian’s eyes met Ruddiger’s. His only friend looked at him with wide, sad eyes. Varian shook his head. “What do I do now, Ruddiger? I don’t know what to do!” Varian uttered, his voice cracking. 

When Ruddiger cuddled close, Varian's dam broke. Tears poured down his youthful cheeks, and dampened Ruddiger's fur. Varian let out heartbreaking sobs, not bothering to try and conceal them, because nobody was around to hear him anyway. Varian cried for a long time. How long, he did not know. He hadn't bothered to try and track the time. It didn't feel important. Varian cried and cried. He cried for himself, he cried for his father, he cried for the people he had hurt and the people he had scared, he cried for the opportunities and the life that had been taken away from him… no. The life he had thrown away. Varian's head pounded vigorously, his cheeks were raw from all of his hot tears, and his back and neck ached from his unmoved posture, not to mention all of the aches and pains he had acquired from events over the last few days. The physical pain, though ever present, was not something Varian could bring himself to care about or try to solve.

Varian smothered under the weight of his turmoil all night until sunlight shone through his tiny window, and the sound of echoing boots bounced between the walls of the long corridor once again. Varian peered down the hallway and saw a shadow emerge. Varian choked back the sobs he had left in him and rubbed away his tears using the back of his hand. He then turned his face away from the unknown visitor and buried it in his arm. Varian wondered who was approaching him. The footsteps were too heavy to be a woman or a young person. So by process of elimination Varian concluded that it must be a guard. He tried not to think about some of the possible reasons said guard would be heading toward him. Except, one possibility rang in his mind. Had they freed his father and were coming to let him know? Or… maybe the footsteps WERE his father! Varian dared to peek out through the bars again, and quickly wished he hadn't. It was a guard. One he hadn't seen before, and he was carrying a tray of food. If Varian hadn't looked, he could have continued believing that it was Quiran coming for him. Varian thought about his father, and how disappointed he would be right now, but also he thought of how if his father were here, he could simply place a hand on Varian's shoulder and his hands and knees would stop trembling, his head would stop pounding, and he'd feel okay again. But Quiran was not here, and Varian would not feel okay again. Locked up in here, and his father… well, you know… he would never have the chance to make him proud.

Varian jumped from his thoughts when he heard the steel tray scrape the stone as the guard pushed it into the cell through a slit in the bottom of the door. Varian, who had wanted to shrink out of sight, just to avoid facing any other person, now stared wide eyed from the guard to the tray and back.

"Breakfast, kid. Eat up now, I can't leave the tray here." The guard said firmly.

Ruddiger looked into Varian's eyes, willing him to go eat, but Varian was frozen. Ruddiger wordlessly understood this and hopped out of Varian's lap and over to the tray. With great effort, and a less than great ear piercing scrap, Ruddiger pulled the tray up to Varian's side. Varian scratched his little buddy's head, and then looked to the tray. Oatmeal and a bowl of grapes. To Varian's surprise, it didn't look terrible. When Varian tried to recall the last meal he had eaten, he couldn't. He had neglected to eat much of anything since the incident with his father. Even having had an empty stomach for so long, the thought of eating anything made Varian's stomach do a flip. His stomach was in knots with anxiety and adding food to the mix seemed nauseating. Still, for all Ruddiger's effort in bringing him the tray, Varian shakily picked up a grape and ate it. He ate about five or six grapes, nearly the whole bowl, before his stomach started to churn just as he had predicted.

"I can't eat the rest, you have it buddy." Varian whispered to the little racoon, who squeaked happily before chowing down on the oatmeal and the remaining grapes.

When he was finished, and had licked everything clean, Ruddiger brought the tray back where the guard had placed it, and squeaked what could only have been a "thank you" to him, before hurrying back to Varian's side.

Using all the courage he could muster in this dark time, Varian cleared his throat, gaining the guards attention.

"Um… has anything come of my father…?" Varian muttered, his voice high and cracking.

The guard sighed. "No, sorry kid." he said, before turning on his heel and stomping back down the corridor, tray in hand.

Varian had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out while still in earshot of the guard. Varian knew that at this point, there was no way his father could still be alive in there. Varian felt the heavy guilt like a weight on his chest. Ruddiger purred and nudged Varian, and then circled around him to hop onto the cot. Varian understood, but shook his head. He did not want to move. Ruddiger Chittered loudly. Varian rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay. Fine." Varian gave in and slowly, using the wall for support, got to his feet.

When he reached his full height he felt a wave of dizziness, and had to wait until it passed before making another move. Upon recovering from the dizzy spell, Varian dragged himself onto the cot. His chain jingled noisily with the movements, causing Varian to cringe. He now sat on his hard cot, and propped his leg up in front of him. His ankle was sore, as the shackle was still pinching and irritating. He groaned when his attempt to adjust the shackle was unsuccessful. Giving up, he laid down and rolled onto his side facing the wall and Ruddiger scurried to curl up near Varian's chest. In a matter of quiet, lonely minutes, the exhaustion overtook him, and Varian was finally asleep.

.

.

.

"Good afternoon, your majesties." said the Captain with a bow, upon entering the throne room.

"Captain, Good afternoon!" said Queen Ariana with a smile.

Ariana was a kind hearted woman to everyone, and most certainly had a 'glass half full' view on life, much like her daughter. King Fredrick however, although always fair and noble, struggled to find the bright side in a lot of situations, unlike the rest of the small royal family. At this time especially, his upset was observable. The King and Queen, and the Captain had just bid their children farewell before they left Corona for a long and potentially dangerous journey. The King always preferred to have a tight leash on his daughter, and having to take the leash off had affected his mood quite significantly.

"Captain. Thank you for coming. I'd like an update please. Have all my all of my requests been executed?" The king asked quickly.

"Yes sir. Letters have been sent out to the list of individuals who you believe may have the key to destroying the amber, a clean up team is working hard throughout Corona and Old Corona, and all civilian's needs are being met." Listed the Captain.

"Excellent, Captain. Thank you. And how is Varian?" asked the Queen with concern.

"He is secure in our custody, your highness." said the Captain.

"Oh, yes, that's good Captain, but what I mean is, how is he? Has anyone been to speak to him? I would imagine he may be very frightened down there." she explained.

King Frederick spoke before the Captain had a chance to answer. "Ariana, please. That boy is not an innocent child. He does not deserve your compassion." the King said.

"No Fredrick, he is not and innocent child, but he is a child. A very bright child, who acted simply out of fear and grief." The Queen stated firmly.

"Your majesty, I will pay him a visit myself and make sure he is doing okay." the Captain said, before the King could argue with his wife again.

"Thank you, Captain." Ariana said with a smile, once again.

"Very well. Thank you Captain, that will be all." the King said, dismissively. The Captain respectively bowed and exited the throne room.

When the door clicked shut, Ariana turned to her husband. "Fredrick, we need to discuss what the next steps are for Varian." she said.

"Yes dear, I have already thought about this, and I think the plan will be quite simple." Fredrick said, not daring to look his wife in the eye. The Queen gaped at him.

"Fredrick, if you think for a moment that you can order a fourteen year old to be executed-" the Queen began, but was promptly cut of by the King.

"Ariana of course not. I know very well that that is not an option. Varian will remain in custody until he turns eighteen, and will be executed at that time." Fredrick said, coldly. Ariana shook her head.

"No, Fredrick! That is nearly just as cruel. Think about this! That is Quiran's son, your friend's child!" Ariana fought.

"Yes, and the boy encased him in an unbreakable amber." he said in rebuttal.

"Oh please, you know that was a terrible accident, you cannot possibly blame him-" Ariana argued, but was once again cut off.

"Ariana! Think of what he is capable of! Think of what he tried to do to you! To us! To Rapunzel!" Fredrick said in frustration.

Ariana sighed, understanding her husband's thought process. "You know, Fredrick. The last time a crime was this personal to you, was when Rapunzel's Tiara was stolen. We had so few things to remind us of her, and one was stolen from us. You ordered Eugene executed, no questions asked. If that execution had been successful, we would never have gotten Rapunzel back, and the world would have lost a bright, funny, kind hearted man. A man who makes our daughter feel like the luckiest woman in the world." Ariana said, calmly, with her hand on her husbands.

"Ariana, how is this all relevant." Fredrick asked, shaking his head.

"All I am saying is, with a situation this close to us personally, I think we should bring in a third party judge, and hold a trial for Varian. From my motherly point of view, I see a child who deserves a second chance, and from your fatherly point of view, you see a threat to your family. We need someone outside of the situation to come in and help us make sense of this, and hopefully help us to meet in the middle somewhere." Ariana insisted.

King Fredrick took a moment to process the idea. Normally, the King and Queen were in charge of the final decisions regarding criminals, and trials were rare unless it was a special case or complicated situation. This, can be considered both of those.

"Fine, a trial can be arranged. But I want my concerns and my suggestions heard." Fredrick decreed.

"Yes, mine too." Ariana said, concluding their discussion.

.

.

.

Varian slept restlessly, and plagued by nightmares for only a couple of hours, maybe less. When he awoke to the sound of boots once again marching down the echoey corridor, Varian peered through the bars of his cell to see the shadow of a guard emerge from the dark. Varian decided that the guard could not have seen him looking, and to pretend to still be asleep. Varian wanted to limit any encounters with the guards. He felt anxious about the power they had over him, and what it could mean each time his cell was visited. So Varian layed down facing the wall again, and brought his knees close to his chest, willing himself to shrink away. Ruddiger cuddled in as he had been before, assuming his boy would be going back to sleep. When the footsteps got closer though, Varian squeezed his eyes closed, and Ruddiger poked his head up curiously, watching as the Captain of the guard approached.

When the footsteps came to a halt, Varian heard a man clear his throat and then call out his name.

"Ahem. Varian?" the Captain called.

Varian squeezed his eyes more. 'Be asleep. Be asleep. Be asleep.' he repeated in his mind.

"Varian, wake up please. I'd like to talk." The Captain said, hesitantly.

Varian's heartbeat quickened with anxiety. He instinctively curled in on himself tighter.

"I know you're hearing me. Sit up." the Captain said, a little less gentle than he had been before.

Varian did not want to dig himself any deeper, so he reluctantly shifted to sit up, jingling his chains as he moved, which once again made the alchemist wince. Ruddiger hopped from the cot and scurried to the bars to give the Captain a good sniff, before running back to sit on Varian's lap. Varian stared at his feet, not willing to let the Captain see his still tear stained face.

"Thank you. I just thought maybe, uh, we could talk a little bit. Um, how are you feeling?" The Captain said, as awkwardly as if he were fourteen as well.

Varian was surprised by the manner of the Captain's visit, and the question caused him to take a moment to evaluate himself. He still had a pounding headache and achy muscles. He was cold, his ankle hurt and he felt rather lightheaded. Even so, Varian just shrugged his shoulders.

The Captain was not satisfied with that feeble answer. "Come on, kid. Talk to me." the Captain prompted.

Varian exhaled, exasperated. "I'm okay. Head hurts." he said in a voice barely above a whisper, still not daring to meet the man's eyes.

The Captain slowly nodded. "Hmph. I heard you barely touched your breakfast, might be why your head hurts."

Varian shrugged again. "Wasn't very hungry. Why do you even care how I am, anyway?" he said

The Captain moved his weight from foot to foot. "Well, make sure you eat at dinnertime." he responded, blatantly ignoring the latter half of what Varian said. 

Varian scoffed.

The Captain continued. "Is there anything you want to talk about? Any questions I can answer?"

Behind a few layers there was so much Varian wanted to say to anyone who would listen, and he had countless questions floating in his head. What is happening with dad? Is Cassie okay? Are Rapunzel and the Queen okay? Is anyone else hurt? Am I going to be executed? 

As these questions flowed through his mind, the last one came out of nowhere. Varian could not recall that question being on his mind before, or maybe it had been there but he just kept pushing it to the back. Would he even mind if he was going to be executed? There is nothing left for him here, and who is to say he doesn't deserve that.

Instead of asking any of these burning questions, Varian just shook his head, suddenly feeling sick.

"Alright, well if you, um, want to talk or you think of any questions, you can ask any guard who is by, or you can ask them to send me down, I'll come. And, uh, make sure you eat, oh and drink water too. You can go back to sleep now if you want to." the Captain rambled awkwardly. His job description never said anything about compassion, and so with anyone beside Cassandra, compassion was avoided at all costs. It especially wasn’t easy to show compassion to a boy who offered no respect what-so-ever. The Captain practically ran back down the stone corridor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for your interest in my dark and twisty story! This chapter is very short and it is extra angsty.
> 
> Enjoy!

Varian sat on his cot in the corner of the square cell, with his knees propped up to his chest. This position was how he was usually found. Often he would speak softly to Ruddiger; of course, the raccoon never had anything very interesting to say in response. He'd fiddle with his chain, sometimes he'd twist his now greasy hair between his fingers. On occasion Varian would leave the safety of his corner and pace around the cell, it reminded him that he had a body and not just a mind. The aches and pains helped too. 

Varian slept very sporadically, in the form of short naps whenever he became too tired to stay awake any longer. Varian simply could not convince his mind to quiet down enough for him to sleep when he chose. Memories of his life before and fantasies of the life he would not get to have kept him awake. Accompanied by the racing thoughts was an almost constant headache and a damp chill.

Keeping track of time proved to be a bigger chore than anybody could expect. He figured out in time that he was given a meal shortly after dawn and another one late in the afternoon, so using this, and dusk and dawn each day, one may think it would be easy to count the days. But Varian's days all looked the same, and he could never tell exactly how long he'd slept, so he lost count. Varian could only guess at this point, but he'd decided that it was day 19- evening time- he figured, considering he'd just been given his dinner not long ago.

Naturally, Varian did not expect anymore company until morning, aside from Ruddiger of course, who was presently curled up in a ball directly on top of Varian’s feet, sound asleep, evident by his little purring snores. The animal’s presence was warm and comforting and Varian wouldn’t dare to move, less he disturb his resting ally. 

There had been no more uncomfortable visits from the Captain since day two, and very little communication from any other guards who checked on him or brought him meals. Some were friendly to him and greeted him or asked him how he was doing (specifically Pete and Stan made sure to always do this.) Some guards were stone faced and abrupt with him. Varian didn’t care either way. He wanted nothing from any of them. Any interaction with a guard- Cold and rude, or friendly and polite- made Varian’s heart race with both anger and anxiety. So when the regular schedule was deviated one night and two men stalked down the corridor, Varian's heart thudded in his chest. He received no word regarding their plans for him. Varian always felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop; he wondered if maybe this was it. 

Varian hugged his knees, and Ruddiger, having been awoken by Varian’s accidental shifting in position, propped his head high in the air in his curiosity of who could be visiting. Ruddiger's fearlessness protected Varian.

When the figures were close enough, Varian recognized the Captain, and another guard, a young man who had treated him coldly in the past weeks- mocking his imprisonment or throwing his food down, making items roll off the tray. This evening though, in the presence of the Captain, the man remained quiet and expressionless. Varian did not know his name and couldn't be bothered to find out. The Captain cleared his throat and jiggled around a set of keys until the cell door swung open with an ear splitting squeak that Varian had only heard when he first arrived here, and a handful of times that he had been brought a basin of water to wash with- there was no basin to be found. Varian straightened his spine, and sat on his hands to hide their fearful tremor. 

Varian watched the guards closely and silently, willing himself disappear. The Captain entered the cell and swung the door closed behind him, not locking it or even closing it completely. The younger man stood outside the cell, expression untelling and posture excellent.

"Hi kid." said the Captain, startling Varian. Varian made a very small and very unintelligible sound in response. The Captain took out two lengths of parchment, an ugly quill, and a tiny ink bottle. "So Varian, your trial will be tomorrow at noon time." the Captain said, crouching down to meet Varian at eye level. Varian felt sick suddenly.

"Um… no-nobody said anything about a t-trial… I-I that, I don't know, I just-" Varian began to stammer, his voice cracking.

The Captain held his hand up and Varian's senseless stammering halted. "This is a good thing, kid. The King and Queen felt too close to this case to make any decisions, so they brought in a judge to come and make sure you'd get a fair trial. Now, you're going to have to make a plea of innocence or guilt to all the charges listed here.” the man explained, referencing one of the parchment rolls by holding it up. He continued. “You’ll also have a chance to speak for yourself, give your side of the story. You should spend some time thinking about what you would like to say, and get that story straight. Your pleas need to match up. Write down anything you would like,” He referenced the other parchment, which was presumably blank, and the quill and ink. “and be honest. There are already multiple witness accounts submitted, so most of it’s already out there, they will know if you’re lying or fabricating things. What we want from you is what happened when nobody was looking, and  _ why. _ Understand? I know you had reasons. Something pushed you here, this is your chance to explain. Your  _ Only  _ chance. Okay?" he said, pushing the parchment, quill and ink across the floor to just beside the cot. 

Varian nodded, his breath stuck in his chest. He felt his hands and his knees tremble incessantly, as they had a habit of doing. He knew he should reply to the Captain but this mouth left incredibly dry all of the sudden. Amid the train of childhood memories that flowed through Varian's thoughts in the all day silence, Varian thought of his time spent attending regular school, his father wanted him to be in school very badly, but it was never a fit. Varian got ahead on his studies and was able to complete his schooling at the age of 11. Varian was so different and so much more intelligent than other kids his age, and he was teased for it. There was one specific memory where Varian was chased home by a group of four or five boys who yelled taunts and threats at him as they chased after him. Varian burst into his house and was met by his father. One look at his son and Quirin stepped out the door to meet the bullies, well, at the sight of Quirin, the boys ran very fast in the other direction. Once they took off, Quirin came back inside and found his own little boy, only nine years old, sitting on the floor hugging his trembling knees with his trembling hands. Quirin got on the floor with Varian and put his heavy hands on his son’s boney shoulders, and instructed him to breathe. Varian trusted his father's word and did as he was instructed. Eventually the shaking, and the racing mind and heart all went away. Calling upon this memory now, in his prison cell with the Captain of the guard, Varian followed his father's instructions and Ruddiger pawed Varian's bare foot sweetly. The Captain cleared his throat again and stood back up to his full six and a half feet.

"The other thing kid, and I'm really sorry to do this, but it's been decided for security reasons that your pet is separated from you until… further notice." said the Captain, and then reached to scoop up Ruddiger before Varian had time to react. Ruddiger just looked at Varian, confused.

"No!" Varian shouted, and leaped from his corner clumsily. But the Captain was already handing off Ruddiger to the other guard outside the cell. Varian screamed, and took off running towards the exit from his cell, only to be snapped back painfully by the shackle and chain attached to his ankle. Even after falling to the ground Varian shouted, screamed and sobbed for the guard holding Ruddiger, who was now walking away with him, to stop and to come back. Varian jumped back to his feet and tried again to run toward Ruddiger, not thinking about anything else.

"NO! STOP! COME BACK! COME BACK!" Varian continued screaming painfully, his voice becoming raw quickly due to lack of use over the past weeks. Hot tears poured shamefully down his cheeks. Varian kept on pulling himself as far as the chain would allow, and attempting over and over again to pull harder while he screamed “STOP! COME BACK! RUDDIGER! WAIT, PLEASE!” When Ruddiger and the unknown guard turned the corner at the end of the corridor Varian let out a heart wrenching half scream, half sob. His shoulders rose and fell rapidly and he wheezed between his screams and sobs. Varian dropped himself to the ground and began to scratch and pull at his ankle shackle violently, breaking the skin on his hand and fingers as well as his already irritated ankle. Varian sobbed and wheezed and released miserable desperate screams while he pried helplessly at the strong metal.

Varian had forgotten about the Captain's presence until he spoke again. "Okay Varian. Enough." he said firmly.

Varian then turned his wide, desperate eyes to the much larger man, who stood near the opening of the cell. "PLEASE! PLEASE TELL HIM TO BRING HIM BACK! PLEASE! TELL HIM TO COME BACK! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM! YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!" Varian rapidly screamed at the Captain.

When Varian grabbed hold of the front of the man's uniform, it was obvious that he had made a big mistake. The Captain flipped a switch, he grabbed Varian by the front of his own clothing, and lifted him off the ground, walked him backwards in just a pace or two and slammed Varian's small frame against the stone wall. Varian's screaming stopped involuntarily when the wind was knocked from his lungs. Varian stared at the guard, tears staining his cheeks, bottom lip trembling, while he struggled for air.

"That is enough, Varian. Do not make this harder on yourself. Do not." The Captain spat firmly, glaring down on Varian and shoving him a little bit against the wall with every emphasis. Varian swallowed in fear the Captain released his grasp, hereby dropping Varian to the floor. The Captain did not pause again but only exited the cell, slammed the door shut and locked it behind him.

When Varian recovered from the shock of his violent interaction with the Captain, he pulled his aching body across the floor to the now locked door again. The Captain had already turned to stalk back down the long corridor. Varian gripped the steel bars tightly, his knuckles turning white. "Wait! Nononono Captain please wait please sir please no!" Varian sobbed. "PLEASE! Please, PLEASE! I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF!" Varian shouted without considering the vulnerability in his words. "I can't. I can't. I can't do this alone, I can't. Please. Please, I can’t." Varian sobbed over and over.

The Captain did not hesitate in his motion, but he most certainly did in his heart. "I can't do this by myself." He heard. Of course he can't, he's only a child. The Captain shook his hesitation and sped up his pace to get out of earshot of the boy's miserable chorus of sobs. Soon all he could hear of the boy was the echoes of his cries vibrating through the dungeons stone walls. The last he heard was Varian calling for his dad. 

“Dad, help me! Please dad! I need you! Please, please, I need you!” 

The Captain’s chest tightening- he couldn’t help but to imagine his own daughter, currently off who knows where, crying out for  _ his _ help. The Captain- normally so stoic and strong- clapped a hand over his mouth as a bubble of emotion escaped him. 

.

Long after Varian could no longer see or hear the Captain's footsteps, his voice faded to a whisper, all cries for Ruddiger, the guards and his father gone unheard. All breathing exercises his father had helped him learn were now out the window. Varian pried his own white knuckled hands off the bars painfully. He crumbled to his side with his spine against the barred door, facing the back wall. Varian trembled all over, and his ribs screamed in pain. He felt freezing but he could not bring himself to go to his cot or even reach for the scratchy wool blanket. Varian lied right where he had fallen, creating pools of his tears in every little crease and crack on the floor. He curled in on himself instinctively to preserve warmth, and he wished so badly in that moment that he could feel the burning rage he had once been filled with, instead of this hopeless desperation and empty feeling.

Now, Varian was truly alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter 3!

Varian shivered on the damp stone for hours, his back horizontal against the bars- unmoving since he collapsed the night prior. He watched as the sun set out his tiny window, and it seemed like no time until he was watching it rise again. Day 20. He had run out of tears at some point through the night and was left with red, irritated skin on his cheeks and eyes, and of course the complementary pounding headache. Varian could only imagine how he looked right about now after laying awake on the dirty floor crying all night long. He did not care how he looked. Let the guard think what they think. He didn’t care. He did not care about much in this dark, cold and lonely place.

The sound of boots approaching did not startle him today. He pondered the idea that perhaps they'd be extra hard on him because of last night, and Varian decided that even if he was beaten or given horrible food scraps, he did not regret it. In fact, he had been beating himself up for not composing his emotions and fighting harder. Maybe if he hadn't been crying they would have taken him more seriously. Maybe if he had been better, if he had tried harder, Ruddiger would be here still. Maybe his father would too.

His train of thought made its way back to the people walking towards him, just as their footsteps halted on the other side of his cell. Varian still made no move. He couldn't. He didn’t have the energy. 

Then, the Captain's voice boomed "Varian. Are you awake?" he waited, but Varian offered no response. "Varian." he repeated. This time, Varian figured he should be compliant, so he raised his arm slightly to let the man know that he was indeed awake.

"You've been lying there since yesterday, haven't you…" the Captain said, almost more so to himself than Varian. As expected, Varian gave no response to the hypothetical question.

The entire three weeks that Varian has been in custody for, he has been very quiet and melancholy. Nobody was expecting him to be okay with the separation from his pet, but nobody had quite expected the outburst that occurred either.

The Captain got down on one knee near Varian "Kid, listen, I'm sorry about your racoon. This won't be forever, once your trial is all over and done with, you can have him back. And he's doing just fine, by the way. Probably getting a belly rub as we speak." the Captain said, with a little awkwardness. It was the King who decided that if Varian were going to be informed of his trial ahead of time then he'd have to be held alone, as to reduce the risk of Varian trying anything, should his emotions run high again. Everyone knew what this kid was capable of, and nobody wanted to take any chances. He would not want to escape without his pet, and a pet this loyal would help Varian with anything he asked of him.

At the mention of his trial, Varian's heart rate spiked. He slowly sat up, and turned toward the Captain. His achy body protested and Varian ignored it. He noticed then that Stan was also present, several feet back. Varian had utterly and completely forgotten about the trial. The parchment and quill remained untouched and unread where the Captain had left them yesterday. Varian looked the Captain in the eye uncharacteristically, his expression stricken with panic. In a very quiet and high pitched voice he said "I forgot." Varian bit his bottom lip.

The Captain sighed, Varian today looked very different from the Varian he had seen running around the palace with his daughter and the princess many months ago. His eyes were red and swollen, and his skin was ghostly pale, especially in contrast to the blue of the tired dark circles under his eyes. He knew this boy was dangerous, and had some serious issues, but he felt for him.

"It's still early, you have some time before the trial. Right now we are going to take you to get yourself cleaned up and change your clothes. Before I open this door you need to get up and put your hands on the back wall." stated the Captain.

Varian hesitated, but ultimately did as he was told. He stood up slowly, and then once to his feet he paused with his eyes closed, as he became dizzy. He also held a hand on his side, it was very sore, either from sleeping on the ground or from being slammed into the wall yesterday. Varian didn't know for certain.

After a moment, the small teen trudged a few feet to the back wall, and placed his shaking hands on the stone, resting his forehead against it as well. The Captain entered the cell and gently turned Varian around with a hand on his shoulder. The guard produced a pair of shackles from his belt and applied them to Varian's wrists. He then produced a key from his busy key ring and crouched down to Varian's ankle. When the shackle was removed, his ankle was a sad sight to see. The flesh was irritated with dirty scabs, and he had dark blue and purple bruises from the previous day's relentless tugging on the metal.

"I'll get you some ice for this later." the Captain said, Varian chose not to mention the terrible throbbing in his ribs. The Captain then placed a firm grip on Varian's skinny bicep and led him out of the cell for the first time in three weeks. Stan met them at the door and took hold of Varian's other arm.

Varian knew the tight hold on his arms was so he couldn't get away, but nonetheless, he was grateful for it. Without the steady men keeping him up, he feared he may have trouble staying on his feet. He stumbled several times, his legs were shaky and weak and he felt very uncoordinated, much more so than his usual quirky clumsiness. The corridor in which Varian had listened to the coming and going guards each day (but had only walked himself once) was a longer walk for Varian. Both guards had adjusted their hold on him to give him a little more support once they realised just how weak he had become over the past three weeks. The stairs were tiring, yet doable.

Soon, they reached a large bathroom. They were still in the dungeon, but it was a little bit bright and a little bit warmer in this area. It appeared to be the prisoners bathroom, where all or many of the prisoner's bathed at once. Varian was very relieved to note that there were no other prisoners present at this time.

"Okay kid. You can have 10 minutes. There is soap, a toothbrush, a comb, a towel and a change of clothes all on the shelf in there. Tub is filled and ready for you. I will knock when time is almost up, you knock when you're ready for me to open the door." the Captain explained, and Varian nodded to show that he understood. When he stepped in, the Captain removed the shackles from Varian's wrists, then closed and locked the door behind him. Varian observed that there was a window on the door, but as he peeled away his grimy old clothes, exposing himself, he hoped that Stan and the Captain would do him the courtesy of looking away. Varian surveyed the room, which was occupied only by a long line of 10 or so wooden tubs. They were fairly deep, clearly meant to men much larger than Varian. The tub nearest the door was partially filled with clean and clear water, and the bar of soap, toothbrush and comb promised by the captain sat along the ledge. Varian climbed in quickly, not wanting to stand exposed for longer than absolutely necessary. 

Varian was pleased to find out that the water, although not hot, was nice and warm. It stung on some parts of his damaged body, but overall, it felt amazing. He assessed the painful area on his side, and found that a dark pool of bruising covered the right side of his ribcage. It must have been a result of his altercation with the Captain. Varian gently touched the wounded area, and pulled away quickly with a hiss. It was definitely recent, and possibly a broken rib. Ouch.

Varian did his best to ignore the pain and continued to wash himself. He checked the window on the door often, feeling self conscious regarding the fact that the guards could look at him if they chose. He scrubbed his hair with the bar of soap until there were more suds than hairs. He washed his face. He washed his ankle where the shackle had once resided. Soon, he had thoroughly washed every inch of himself, twice, and brushed his teeth thoroughly as well. After checking the window once more, he stood relaxed back into the warm water and shut his eyes. He allowed the water to soak away the mess that was his life, until a rapping came at the door. Varian sighed at the sound, but promptly rose up out of the amazing water, and hurried to his towel. He dried off, being careful around his injury, and then picked up the clean clothing given to him. It consisted of a pair of brown cotton slacks, containing draw strings (thankfully), which Varian tied as tightly as possible, and a long sleeved white cotton shirt, with just two buttons at the collar, and the crest of corona stitched on the breast. Varian leaned over to roll up his too long pant legs, and yelped loudly when his injured ribs protested. Another knock came to the door.

"Everything okay, kid?" came the Captain's voice.

Varian observed that he still hadn't looked in the window. Varian wondered why the guards would trust him, but then pushed his questioning aside. Take what you can get.

Varian disregarded the other pant leg, and instead of rolling up his too long sleeves, he gripped the access fabric in his fists. Now hurrying, he gave a light knock on the door.

"Put your hands against the wall." said the guard. Varian obeyed. The Captain unlocked and opened the door a moment after. He turned Varian around, and noticed that the kid looked a little more alive now that the acquired layer of dirt and grime had been washed away.

"Hands out." The Captain commanded, while producing the shackles from his belt.

Varian obeyed and held his skinny arms out in front of him, still gripping the ends of his sleeves.

The Captain gently pulled the material out of the boy's grasp and pushed it up his arm one at a time, before placing the heavy shackles on his wrists.

"Feel any better now? You certainly smell better." said Stan, as he stepped forward to take his place at Varian's side. Varian huffed an artificial laugh and muttered "Yeah" in response, and the Captain chuckled too, while he locked the shackles securely.

When Varian considered it, he did feel a little bit better. His headache had dulled and his muscles felt soothed. Most of all, he was thankful to leave his cell. He felt as if he were going crazy in there for so long. Well, crazier than he supposed he already was…

The walk back felt a little easier, compared to the trip there. He figured he was just less stiff now. Varian still had to rely on the guards by his side to keep him steady, but his strides could be somewhat faster.

Varian day dreamed while they walked, so he was surprised when they reached the turning point down to Varian's corridor, and the Captain brought them all to a stop.

"Stan, please go get Varian's breakfast and some ice for him." said the Captain. Stan complied with a curt nod, and released his hold on Varian before turning away. The Captain re-adjusted his hold on Varian to make up for Stan's absence. Suddenly, Varian let out a loud yelp, followed by a wince and he tried to pull his bound hands to his side, unsuccessfully.

The Captain nearly faltered. Nearly. His grip did not budge. Still, he said "Is something wrong? Are you hurt?" He looked Varian up and down.

Varian shook his head. "No sir, just some bruises. I'm fine." Varian said, in a small, mousy voice.

Stan must have stopped when he heard the commotion, because he called from down the hall "Everything ok, sir?"

The Captain looked up from Varian and in the direction of Stan's voice. "Yes, we're fine. Bring ice." he replied, and pushed Varian lightly, signaling him to walk again.

Varian found himself coming to a halt again, a few feet before his cell. The door remained open, so the Captain planned to march right in. Varian however, felt his chest tighten at the notion of stepping back into the tiny room. The Captain offered Varian's shoulder a squeeze, trying to que him to keep walking. It worked, but Varian could not help but respond with a bit of attitude. He scowled and pulled his shoulder away from the man, then huffed and marched into the cell, as passionately as a frail, injured teenager could. The Captain released his hold on him, and Varian stomped directly to his cot and plopped onto the edge of it with another huff.

The Captain gave Varian a look that could only be achieved by a father, or by the Captain of the Royal Guard. This man just so happened to be both.

Varian caught the warning glare, and averted his eyes.

The Captain picked up the dreaded ankle shackle to once again bind Varian to the stone wall. Crouching down by Varian's feet, he looked at the boy's ankles, and chose the opposite ankle to last time, as to allow the wounds on the other to heal. The Captain shackled Varian's ankle with more care than the first time, which Varian silently appreciated. The Captain then took off the bindings on Varian's wrists. He stepped back and crossed his arms. "Alright, let's have a look at those bruises." he said. It could have been formed as a question, but it sounded more like a command.

Varian became nervous. "No, I'm fine. They're fine." he muttered, looking off to the side.

The Captain used a little bit of the same sharpness that Varian had displayed, back at him. "I don't remember asking. Stand up and lift up your shirt." He ordered.

Varian was smart. Surely smart enough to know not to disobey an order like that. Varian's hands started to tremble. He gingerly stood up and lifted his shirt, only enough to reveal a little bit of the inky markings staining his body.

The Captain squinted in the dim lighting. He stepped closer and took a knee in front of Varian. Slowly, as to not startle the boy, the Captain lifted the shirt slightly higher, revealing more of the injury, and more of Varian's seemingly dire malnutrition. Varian himself let go of the shirt, and the Captain noticed his shaking hands.

"Does it hurt worse when you take a big breath?" The captain asked.

Varian tested it with a big breath, and then he shook his head. "No worse, I guess."

The Captain nodded. "Ok. That's good, that means that probably nothing is out of place. There could be a break maybe, but it is probably just bruised up, like you said." He said, letting the shirt fall back down.

The Captain had realized as soon as Varian admitted to being injured, that the only possible way he could have obtained the injury was during the quarrel between the two yesterday evening. The Captain found himself feeling a pang of guilt. Was Varian really threatening enough to warrant roughly pinning him against a wall, as he had done? In his element, yes. After three weeks in a prison cell, with nothing but the clothes on his back? Unlikely. The Captain could only shake his guilt by thinking 'Better safe than sorry.' and 'What's done is done.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks! Enjoy chapter 4 and let me know what you think!

Varian's days had been identical since becoming a prisoner. Today was very different. As he sat on his stiff cot, Varian struggled to ignore Ruddiger's absence. Varian had picked at his breakfast that morning, and then he iced his side until the ice melted, he walked the perimeter of his cell a few times, and then he noticed the parchment and quill that the Captain had delivered. Varian knelt down, grimacing at the pain the movement caused. He gripped the quill in his fist, willing himself to pour meaningful words onto the parchment. Each time Varian tried to focus his thoughts on his quickly approaching trial, his breath caught in his chest and his thoughts raced around his head. So, instead Varian scribbled his name over and over, he drew shapes, he scrawled messy designs, and he wrote every chemical formula he could remember. The second side of the page was just about full, when Varian's tense grip on the quill poked it hard through the parchment. Varian groaned and dropped the parchment and quill onto the floor, before retreating to the darkest corner of his cot, as he had done so many times before. The timing was curious, as Varian heard the familiar sound of steel toe boots scuffing against the stone, just as he was getting comfortable. Today though, was different. Four figures turned the corner, and none of them came baring lunch.

Varian swallowed hard and sat on his hands as they started to tremble. His father's words came to mind. Breathe. Breathe, Varian. Breathe. Varian did. He had tears in his eyes, and Varian willed them to go away. He couldn't cry in front of the guards again, he could not appear weak. Varian chewed the inside of his cheek, and looked up at the ceiling.

When he looked down from the ceiling, and saw the Captain, Pete, Stan, and another guard that he did not know, the one who took away Ruddiger, all just a couple of paces from his cell. The tears fell and Varian felt his entire body tremble now.

All the guards stopped in a clump a few feet back, but the Captain kept on approaching. He had an arm full of chains and shackles and he produced a key from one of the many on his belt. Before touching the lock, he looked to Varian, who stared back at him with wide, frightened eyes, and tears running down his cheeks. "It's time to go, kid." he said, sadly.

It only took a moment for the Captain to unlock and open the large, squeaky door. It took no time at all for the guard to place himself in front of Varian. Varian still huddled in the corner, frozen. The Captain crouched down to the teen's level. "It's going to be okay Varian." the man said, in a soft voice, barely louder than a whisper.

Varian shook his head. He had barely thought about what the outcome of the trial could be. It was too painful to think about his future, so he didn't. What Varian was afraid of wasn't what might happen to him after, Varian was afraid of coming face to face with everything he'd done. He has hurt innocent people, he has frightened innocent people, he has caused so much chaos and pain. He'd rather live in denial of it all.

At the time, Varian had felt like he was backed into a corner, and the only option was to fight his way out. Well, right now, he really was backed into a corner. But this time, he knew better than to fight.

Varian took a few more deep breaths, calming himself, and then he looked to the Captain crouched beside him. "Okay?" said the Captain. Varian nodded, and then tiredly swung his legs off the cot and got to his feet.

The Captain nodded and got to work with the chains.

There were more than ever before, Varian would be in the same room as the royal family, and however many civilians the courtroom would hold, so security would be tight.

Varian stood still, and let the Captain manipulate his body however he needed, to secure him. When he was done, Varian was shackled at the ankles, with just enough chain for him to take a step. There was a chain tight around his entire torso, just above the bend of his elbows. His wrists were shackled, with only one chain link between them, which was then linked to the chain around his body, so that his hands were forced to stay at his chest. Varian had practically no mobility in his arms, and any tiny movements made the chains clang and jingle. Varian had to try not to cry again, he would have no way to wipe the tears. He took a deep breath, urging himself to become detached. The physical constriction wouldn't pair well with panic, so he focused on his breathing. 'Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.' Varian thought, as a mantra.

The Captain undid the shackle binding him to his cell, and led him to the other side of the bars that he had become so well acquainted with, for the second time that day.

Stan took the Captain's place on his left, and Pete took Varian's right. The Captain placed himself in front of Varian, and the nameless guard behind him. The guards marched together as a unit. Varian's steps were off beat, but he managed to keep up with the help of Pete and Stan.

The dungeon and the royal court were as far away from each other as they could be, while still being in the same building. So the walk felt like forever. Varian zoned out for most of it, his mind racing. He was only pulled from his thoughts when they left the dungeon, and Varian remembered that the rest of the world wasn't so dark and cold, only his world. He has tried to shield his eyes from the invasive sunshine even in today’s rainy and cloudy weather, but his restraints prevented him. Without stopping, Pete asked him if he was alright and Varian made a noise that was supposed to mean yes. After a few moments of squinting, his eyes adjusted, and as they continued through the corridors near the kitchens, Varian was torn back into his thoughts.

Varian surfaced from his mind again now, 20 metres away from the grand double doors, leading to the royal court. Varian gasped when reality finally gripped him again, realizing just how close they were, and just how unprepared he was. Suddenly, with a high pitched noise coming from his throat, Varian dug his heels into the carpet. This brought the entire group to a halt, and Varian came face to face with every surprised guard on his escort. 'Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't pan-' Varian launched forward, landing on his knees, but quickly was hauled back to his feet by Pete and Stan. "Keep it moving." said the unnamed guard, from behind him. Varian swallowed, and his heart sped. He bit his lip and looked down, in fear of what might happen next, but he planted his feet and shook his head. Varian heard the man behind him grumple and begin to stomp towards him. Varian braced himself, but then, he saw the Captain's boots take a pace toward him too. The unnamed guard stopped and Varian looked up. The Captain was a few feet in front of him with a hand raised. "That is enough, Phillip. Thank you." said the Captain, with his eyes narrowed at the guard, Phillip.

The hot ball in Varian's throat broke and a tiny sob escaped, followed by a spring of tears. Varian cursed himself and hung his head unnaturally low, allowing his hair to fall forward and shield his shameful tears. The Captain's boot again came into view, and then the Captain took a knee, directly in front of Varian.

"Hey kid. Look at me." The Captain said, softly, and placed a hand on Varian's shoulder.

Varian flinched at the contact, and another sob escaping him. He was unsure whether it was because he didn't like the contact, or because he did. Varian didn't look up.

"Varian, come on." said the Captain, a little bit firmer.

Varian tilted his head up just a little, but did not look at the Captain. Instead he looked at various unremarkable spots on the floor. Apparently that was good enough for the Captain, because he began to speak again.

"Look kid, I know you're scared. I don't blame you. But you have to power through this. Things could be better for you afterward, we just don't know yet. This judge is unbiased and-"

"No." Varian muttered weakly, cutting off the Captain. "No. I don't care what they do with me. Pl.. please just take me back to my… to my cell. I'll stay there, I won't cause any trouble, not for the rest of my life, I swear." Varian said, and then in a very small voice, he continued, with tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please don't make me face them."

The Captain was silent, and Varian's frightened eyes finally met the man's surprised ones.

The Captain sighed, his gaze changing from surprised, to saddened. "Don't give up on yourself, Varian." Varian looked away again. "Look, we are going to go in there, one of us on every side of you. You keep your head down, you don't have to look at anyone. We are going right to the front, and once you're there, just don't look back. You can pretend they aren't there. You have to do this, kid." said the Captain. After a pause, he continued. "And you know, not everyone is still mad. A lot of people have come to understand, with the help of the Queen, of course. She made sure everyone had the whole story." He explained.

Varian blinked away some tears, and looked back at the Captain. "She did? Why? Why would she do that?" Varian said, surprised. Why would the woman he kidnapped and threatened want to help him in any way?

"Because she sees the good in people." the Captain replied, with a tiny, half smile. "You ready? It's going to be okay. I promise." he said.

Varian squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to wipe the wetness from his cheeks with his shoulder. When he had himself composed, he gave a tiny nod, and hung his head low again.

The guards once again took their places around him, and began to lead him toward the grand doors, and then inside them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! I am self isolating during these crazy times of global pandemics. Very scary times. Stay safe everyone, and please, please social distance yourself!
> 
> Enjoy Chapter 5!

The casual chatter of conversation in the echoey throne room turned to whisper and mutters when the grand doors boomed opened, and Varian was led through. He followed the Captain's suggestion, and kept his head hung low, listening to his father's calming voice in his head, telling him to breathe. He remembered what his father had said once. "Children have no place in court." Varian nearly scoffed, that seemed like it was decades ago now.

The walk through the middle of the room held a similar feeling to that of walking across a mot on a tightrope. Slipping wasn't an option. Not with all eyes in Corona gawking and willing you to do just that, to slip.

The room which was normally a wide open space, had been filled with rows and rows of benches for the occasion, and all of them were packed. Save for the one nearest the thrones and the stand.

When Varian was finally brought to the bench and seated, a tiny bit of pressure lifted. Step one, check. The room slowly filled with dull noise once again, which Varian took to mean that some of the attention was off him, for a little while at least. The Captain detached Varian's shackled wrists from the chains around his torso, allowing his bound and shaky hands to fall into his lap, Varian mumbled a very low "Thank you" and the Captain moved to stand directly behind him, while the other guards in his escort dispersed to their stations around the room.

After just a few moments, Varian felt the pressure drop back down on him.

The Royal adviser, Nigel, entered the room from a side entrance near the front. He gained the public's attention surprisingly easily, not as easily as Varian had, but easily. "All Rise for the Honorable Judge Benson!" Nigel announced. The Captain gave Varian's shoulder a light push from behind, and Varian breathlessly pushed himself to his feet again. As he wobbled with the familiar wave of dizziness, a tall, white haired and robed man strutted to his place at the podium in the front of the room. Varian was careful not to look for long, wanting to avoid making eye contact. In the moment he did catch though, he noticed that the man had smile lines drawn into his face, and his eyes looked warm and kind.

Varian did not know how to feel about this. He had expected nothing more than a merciless, cold hearted individual. Varian nearly groaned out loud. He had no reason to assume that he wasn't any of those things. The man hasn't even said anything yet.

Once the Judge settled into his stand, Nigel cleared his throat before announcing, even louder than before, "All rise for their Majesties, King Fredric and Queen Ariana!"

Mentally, Varian raised his eyebrows. Could Nigel not see that everyone was already standing? His sassy imaginary commentary was cut off abruptly when the King and Queen entered, arm in arm. Nigel led them to their thrones, adjacent to the Judge's stand. Varian's heart jutted, and he looked down and around, his breath now catching in his chest. Varian felt himself losing his composure. The guilt and anxiety were enough to make his head spin. The sight of them brought him quickly back to that night in his lab. That night brought every emotion you could think of, but most of all… it scared him. At that moment, Varian longed for a hug, or any sort of loving gesture. Varian shook that idea from his mind quickly. No. There was nobody coming for him, not his father, not his friends, not even Ruddiger. Varian carried the weight of each of those missing pieces in his life. He could only blame himself for losing them. His stupid mistakes cost him his father, his fueled greif turned his friends against him, and his weakness allowed them to steal Ruddiger away.

Varian kept his head hung low, while he felt the monstrous pain right alongside the chilling numbness. He was not aware of when he began to tremble, was not aware when a quiet and shaky sob escaped him. Not until he felt a firm, but not harsh, hand on his bicep.

Varian gasped a little as he was pulled from his previous state, glancing just a little over his shoulder. The Captain's face remained stoic but his eyes said otherwise. "Sit down, kid." The man whispered shortly over Varian's shoulder. Varian felt heat creep into his cheeks as he glanced at some of the crowd for the first time and noticed that most of them had sat back down already. How did he manage to miss Nigel saying to do so? Varian sat, and felt appreciative of the Captain. His father's voice played in his mind. "Breath, Varian." it said. He did.

The judge cleared his throat and smiled out at the room filled with people. "Hello, everyone! It's lovely to be back here in Corona. A treat, as always." He said, kindly. "Now, to jump right in. We are here today to hear the case of Varian, Son of Quiran."

Varian flinched when he heard his own name, and flinched harder when he heard his fathers.

The judge looked now at Varian, who sat small on the first bench. His wrists, arms, and ankles were securely shackled, and his head hung low, with thick, inky hair concealing his face. He had of course known that the accused in this case was only 14, barely a teenager, but living it first hand was different. The boy was young, small and frightened. He didn't appear threatening in the slightest, but the chains and the tall Guard, who could be identified as the Captain by the difference on his helmet, all pointed to the fact that this boy was considered very dangerous.

"Varian." the judge said. The boy glanced upward, not meeting anyones eyes. With Varian's attention, the judge continued. "How are you?" he said.

Now, Varian, caught off guard by the causal question, cocked his head up a little more and finally met eyes with the judge, only just for a moment.

Judge Benson took in the boy's face while he could. He had soft, young features and big blue eyes. His face was drained of colour, making the dark circles under his eyes contrast even darker. His eyes and cheeks were irritated and damp, as though he'd been crying only moments before. One look at Varian, and the judge's question was answered. He was not well. The judge had seen many criminal's before, when one looked like this, it meant one of two things. They were remorseful of their crime and struggling with the guilt. In that case, it is unlikely that they will reoffend and a lighter sentence is appropriate. Or in another case, they are sorrowful from their failure and being caught. Making them very likely to reoffend.

It was the judge's job to figure out which of these Varian suited.

Varian replied to the judge's question in a shakey, quiet voice. "Um… I'm, uh… I'm fine. Sir. I'm fine sir." he finally managed, before hanging his head low again, from embarrassment at his faltering.

The Judge took that with a grain of salt, but accepted it. "Good to hear. Now, young man, you've got yourself quite the rap sheet here. I'm going to read it out, but keep in mind that these are all still just accusations." Judge Benson spoke directly to Varian. If he did happen to be the remorseful type, he worried that hearing a list of the horrible things he is being accused of could upset him. Criminal or not, it is unnecessary to cause someone strife when it is preventable. Varian nodded in acknowledgement, but pushed his hand between his knees to stop them shaking.

Judge Benson now addressed the entire room. "Varian, Son of Quiran, is hereby accused of the following:

Treason, on multiple accounts:

Stealing from the royal vaults and conspiracy thereof

Kidnapping, reckless endangerment, assault and attempted murder of Queen Arianna

Reckless endangerment and attempted murder of Princess Rapunzel

Also:

Attack on the royal guard and volunteers, and conspiracy thereof

Destruction of public property

Assault of Lady Cassandra

Constructive manslaughter of Quiran of Old Corona"

Listening to what he'd done get rehashed in these legal terms made Varian's chest tighten. It all sounded… really bad. Still, Varian listened calmly, each accusation accompanied in Varian's mind with a flash of a memory. The flashes moved as quickly as Judge Benson's tongue while he spoke. Varian could sense the Captain tense behind him when Cassandra's name was mentioned, and Varian cringed thinking of her, how they could never be friends again after what he'd done to her. Suddenly that train of thought all came to a screeching halt.

When the judge vocalized the last thing on the list, the words hit Varian with all the force of a punch in the stomach, leaving him breathless. His head, which had been hanging forward, shot up. Varian moved his lips but no sound came out.

The judge returned Varian's stare, attempting to read the boy's expression. He looked as if he were in pain.

Murmurs broke out around the room. Varian couldn't stand the noises, he tried to bring his shoulders to his ears to muffle the sound, but it didn't work. Some of the murmurs from all around the room were audible. "He killed Quiran?" "His own father…" "After all Quiran did for him."

Varian felt sick. He turned his head to look up at the Captain behind him, who was already looking back at him. "Take a breath-" The Captain started to warn.

Finally Varian found his voice. "No…" he breathed, feeling light headed. "I… I didn't… not my Father, no, I never wanted to-" Varain tried to explain to the Captain. The man nodded his head knowingly, and dropped a hand on Varian's shoulder. Varian quieted, and the Captain turned him to face the judge again. He found that the judge was still watching him closely.

"Varian, is everything alright?" the judge asked slowly.

'No.' Varian thought. No, nothing about this was alright. Varian tried to turn to the Captain again, looking to him for what he should say, but the Captain's hand on his shoulder stopped him from turning and pushed him again to face forward.

Varian looked at the judge's soft eyes for a split second before looking quickly down at his bound hands.

"Varian?" the judge prompted.

Varian took a steadying breath, and said. "I never meant to hurt my father sir. It was an accident, and um, everything else I did, I- I, um, I did it to try to get him back." Varian stumbled over his words as he realized that by saying that, he is admitting to all of the other accusations. He said it anyway though, there's no point in trying to lie. They all knew what he did, so he may as well let everyone understand why.

Varian looked at the Judge again, to gage his reaction. The man nodded silently, his lips pressed together. "Okay." he said finally. Varian furrowed his brow. Okay? He just believed him?

That question was answered without it being asked. "That lines up with multiple witness testimonies. It's true that nobody witnessed your father's accident other than yourself, but that explanation fits. The court will hereby clear the defendant of the charge of constructive manslaughter. Quiran of Old Corona's demise was a case of accidental death." The Judge said loudly to the crowd, with a tap of his gavel to wood.

Now Varian really thought he might be sick. His father was dead. Really, actually, dead. Nobody had said anything until now. Varian had been pretty sure for a while now… he'd been trapped with no air for far too long… but nobody had given him any news, so it'd hadn't been real. Now it was. Varian dropped his head again when tears sprung to his eyes, and he bit down hard on his lip to stop from making a sound.

Varian barely heard it when the judge said "Let's continue."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the quickest I have ever updated! This chapter is very short and I apologize for that, but there will be more coming very soon. No time to write like a quarantine! (Stay safe and healthy everyone... these are scary times, but we're all in it together.) - Cate

"Varian." said the judge. "Are you, therefore, admitting guilt to:

Treason, on multiple accounts:

Stealing from the royal vaults and conspiracy thereof

Kidnapping, reckless endangerment, assault and attempted murder of Queen Arianna

Reckless endangerment and attempted murder of Princess Rapunzel

Also:

Attack on the royal guard and volunteers, and conspiracy thereof

Destruction of public property

Assault of Lady Cassandra"

Judge Benson listed again, raising his voice an octave at the end, in question.

Varian shifted in his seat, eyes turned downward. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, and he curled and uncurled his toes inside his palace issued shoes, all the while every pair of eyes in Corona burned into the back of his head. He finally cleared his throat a little and used the voice that he had such trouble finding. "Um. I- I guess so…" mumbled Varian, uneasily.

The Judge sighed. "I'm sorry, Son. I need a yes or no answer. If you say yes, the trial will still carry on as planned, as to decide the right plan for you. Don't be scared." he said.

Varian knew that Judge Benson meant well, but his words somehow only made Varian more scared. "Um, okay, uh… Yes." he said, then glanced at the Judge, who repeated the expression of pressing his lips into a straight line and staring at the boy, as if trying to read his thoughts. Varian looked back down at his hands, bound together in his lap.

"Okay. Thank you for your candor." said the Judge, finally. "Next order of business: I have here a written testimony from Princess Rapunzel, and there are various citizens prepared to make victim impact statements." he said, shuffling through some papers.

Varian felt saddened. Rapunzel wrote her testimony in a letter, while others would be delivering them in person… had his friends… ex friends, he reminded himself, been so disgusted by him that they couldn't bear to see his face? Varian was hurt by the notion, but he understood. He wouldn't want to see him either.

Varian, The King and Queen, and all the citizens listened closely as Judge Benson read aloud the letter sent from Rapunzel. She recounted all the events leading up to… that night.

Varian hadn't known that Cass had been put in charge that night. Setting aside for a moment that the attack was against him, he felt a swell of pride for Cassandra. Varian sometimes felt like he was the only one who truly 'saw' Cassandra. She has so much to offer but is never given the opportunities. He felt proud that she was finally granted one. However, Varian's pride turned into a pang of guilt very quickly. Too bad he had ruined her chance to show her worth when he targeted her in the stupid automaton… Varian turned his attention back to Judge Benson.

Next, a line of Corona's citizens formed to take their turn giving impact statements. Varian listened regretfully. He had caused damage to people's homes and businesses… one woman said her dog had been frightened by the noise and got out of the house and she never was able to find him. Varian felt such guilt. He hadn't considered, at the time, who else he would be hurting. He hadn't cared. He felt like such a child. A tantrum-throwing child.

The Coronian's had many different ideas of Varian. Some folks thought he was a mad scientist/evil genius sort of type… others thought he was a trouble making punk, or a menace. Some claimed his actions had to have been political, and he cringed at the word "terrorist". Varian didn't know which one of these, if any, actually suited him. He did know, however, that not one citizen who spoke had anything positive to say of him.

Varian could only relate that feeling to one past experience. In school, when his regular bullies had grown tired of their usual acts of chasing him home, yelling taunts about his intelligence, or his blue-ish streak, sometimes even about his mother, or lack of one, more specifically. So eventually, when the old jokes got, well, old, they had made it their goal to turn all of the other kids against him too. And they had succeeded… and then everyone hated him.

Varian's eyes glazed over in tears at the memory, but he managed to blink them away. The matter at hand was much more dyer than his experience with school bullies four years ago.

The line of citizen's had diminished at last, and all of the speakers had returned to their seats, so Judge Benson turned his attention back toward Varian.

"Varian, if I may, I'd like to ask you a few questions now." he said as a statement, yet he paused and looked at Varian for a response.

Varian offered a tiny nod, but otherwise made no move. From behind him, the Captain tapped Varian's shoulder and whispered "Stand." Varian slowly rose to his feet, acknowledging the sharp stab of pain in the ribs it caused him, and keeping his eyes trained on the floor. He cringed as the chains clanged together with his movement, and he felt himself blush.

Judge Benson began. "Can you confirm that Princess Rapunzel's timeline is accurate?"

Varian thought for a moment, quickly going over it once more in his mind, and nodded.

"Alright, that would mean that you were left alone with no adult for several weeks before any incident took place. What were you doing during that time?" he asked.

Varian felt the urge suddenly to defend himself, and claim that he is not a child and he manages just fine on his own. However before any words could actually bubble, he considered the fact that he really hadn't managed well on his own at all; he could make no defence there. Instead he uncomfortably said "I was um- preparing, mostly."

The Judge nodded, while Varian noticed the King turn his head away in disgust. The Queen however, just watched him softly, as she had been throughout. "Did anyone other than yourself know what happened to your father?" Judge Benson asked.

Varian's felt like there were cotton balls in his throat all of the sudden. He shook his head.

"Was anyone around to see you in that time? Friends? Neighbors?" said the Judge, gently.

Now Varian cracked. He choked back the noise that had made its way into his throat, and tears sprung to his eyes, spilling down his cheeks before he had the chance to stop them. He hid his face away as much as possible.

"N- no." Varian squeaked.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that all alone." the Judge said, kindly.

Now, a small sob did escape Varian and he wished so badly that he could pull himself together. It was just all too much. Too much. Too much. The room was very silent now, making Varian's badly concealed gasps and sniffs echo unpleasantly.

After giving Varian a few moments, Judge Benson spoke again. "I'd like to offer you the floor now, Son. To defend yourself as you deem fit." he said, with a gesture to Varian.

Varian stared at his hands, and swayed his weight from foot to foot. Hot tears were still making their way down his cheeks, and he didn't know what to say. He was meant to think about this, and plan it in advance. He hadn't. He couldn't. So, here he was, speaking from nothing but the thoughts that he had been pushing to the back of his mind for weeks now.

"Um, well…" Varain took a steadying breath. "Um, there isn't much I can say, to, uh… defend myself. Other than, I guess, I wasn't thinking clearly. And um, I really didn't know what to do." Varian's voice cracked with a small sob. "Or- or how to deal with what had happened. And um, I thought about telling my neighbor, Mrs. Wheatherbee… and you know, asking for help… but I didn't know what I'd even say… so I didn't." Varian sniffed. "But anyway… I know that I- I really messed up- no, sorry, I um- I more than messed up, I- uh… I don't know, but um, I guess I just wanted to say that, um, I'm really sorry." Varian looked at Queen Ariana as he spoke those last three words. Her soft and gentle eyes met his anguished ones for just a moment before he dropped his gaze again. "I'm really sorry, to, uh, to everyone who I hurt. Or- or who I scared. Um, just, uh, yeah. I'm sorry." he rambled a little bit, then pinched his lips together and sat back down on the bench.

"Okay. You've done well today, Varian. Thank you." said the Judge.

"I feel we have much of the information needed for their majesties and I to make a decision. However, we must take some time to look over the details. I ask that we meet back at noon time tomorrow for my verdict. Your majesties, and people of Corona, the time to worry is over, rest tonight. Excuse this, but you all look like you need it." Judge Benson said, with humour in his voice. And then, without humour he continued. "Varian, the same goes for you. Try to get some sleep, it'll do you good." he offered Varian a small smile, then addressed the entire room once more. "Okay everyone, dismissed until tomorrow." he announced, with a tap of his gavel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and please let me know your thoughts! I really love hearing from you all and I always try to reply.
> 
> The next chapter is one that I have had many drafts of written for months now. It's kind of the part in which the rest of the story all stemmed from, so you can expect that probably within the week!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! First off, I want say thank you all for such kind things to say about the story and about my writing, it means a lot!
> 
> The next few chapters, including this one, I wrote long ago because I had this idea and needed to get it out of my head. I worry though that because I've gotten to the part that I was waiting for, I may hit a wall for ideas in the near future. I would really love to hear any thoughts that you guys have on where this could go!
> 
> Lastly, I have to warn you about some descriptions of vomit and blood in this chapter.
> 
> (If it is an issue for anyone, I would be happy to write you a censored version and send it to you personally, just let me know!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Varian stood in the center of his cell, peering down the corridor to where he could see the outline of a familiar figure pacing toward him. A broad shouldered man… the Captain? No… that wasn't it, there was no Guards helmet…

Soon, the figure was close enough that the shadows obscuring his face dispersed, revealing the man's identity. Varian inhaled a sharp breath. He quickly approached the barred door in front of him, and gripped the bars. "Dad!" Varian breathed.

Quiran was now just on the opposite side of the bars. He reached a hand through and wrapped it around Varian's slim wrist. "Hi Son." He said, a small smile coming to his face. Varian noticed his dad's sad eyes.

"Dad, I'm so glad you're okay! How are you alive? They… they said… no, nevermind. I'm- I'm just so glad you're here!" Varian exclaimed.

A thought struck Varian suddenly, and he looked to his father. "Dad… I'm so sorry, for, well, for everything. I never wanted you to get hurt! I was trying to find a way to stop the rocks. I only wanted you to be proud of me…" Varian said, hurriedly, as his excited expression fell to one of deep regret.

Quiran exhaled a long breath and looked down. He rubbed his thumb over Varian's wrist soothingly. "Oh Son… How could I ever be proud of the things you've done?" He looked up at his boy with sad eyes, ashamed of the monster he'd created.

Varian's breath hitched and he felt a stab in his chest. "Dad… no… Dad please, I'm so sorry! I just… I messed up… and- and then, I really needed you back! I know I hurt people, but- but I was just so desperate! I only wanted you back! I wanted to make things right! I wanted to do good! I'm so sorry Dad! I'm so sorry!" Varian sobbed, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry too, Son." Quiran said, looking at his boy with truly sad eyes. He squeezed Varian's hand in comfort, and Quiran turned his head to face a figure behind him.

Varian only noticed then that the Captain of the Guard was standing a few feet back.

"I've heard enough, Captain. Take him to the Gallows." Quiran let go of Varian's hand and stepped aside with his head hung low, to allow the Captain to open up the door.

In the few seconds of jiggling the key in the lock, Varian rushed as close to her father as his chain would allow. "Dad! No! Please Dad, I don't want to die! I don't! I won't hurt anyone ever again, please, Dad, I swear! Help me!" Varian pleaded, tears streaming profusely. The door swung open with a high squeak, and the steel toed boots approached him, with an eerie slowness. "No! Nononono! Wait! Please, please don't! Dad!" Varian tried to scream, but he couldn't bring his throat to do so. He struggled to make his voice corporate until the Captain was before him, looking down darkly at him. The man clapped a heavy hand down on his shoulder, and…

Varian sat bolt upright on his cot, his face was sticky and itchy from tears. His heart raced, and he couldn't catch his breath. Just a dream. It was only a dream. He was in his bed, alone in his cell, and according to his little window, it was still dark outside. But he couldn't catch his breath. Why can't he breath? Varian gasped and moaned. He tried to picture his father speaking his soothing words, telling him to breath, but it brought him back to the nightmare. Varian sobbed, and then he gasped in a breath of dusty dungeon air.

Varian kicked his blanket to the foot of the cot, and he swiped away the pillow. Once everything was away, he lied flat on the uncomfortable mattress, closed his eyes, and took five long and slow breaths. After that, he curled and uncurled his trembling fingers as well as his chilled toes, coming back into his body. Varian was no stranger to panic attacks.

When his mind finally recovered, he felt his body react with a sweeping wave of nausea. Varian swung himself out of bed quickly, ignoring the complimentary dizzy spell that always came with standing up. He crouched by his cot and pulled out the ugly chamber pot beneath it, just in time to empty the bile in his stomach in it.

Luckily, there wasn't much in his stomach to throw up, and when it was certainly empty, Varain trudged back to his cot, defeated. He scooped up his pillow off the floor on his way, and plopped himself down. He curled around the flat pillow, and allowed himself to sob, using the pillow to muffle his pained cries.

Varian cried himself to sleep, not realizing until the exhaustion had already taken over him. The next time he woke up, it was much the same. He sat up with a jolt after feeling the Captain's touch. This time though, the Captain really did stand before him. The Captain showed rare startle as Varian's transition from sleep to on guard was so instant. Varian harshly shoved the man's hand away with a mumbled "Get off!"

The Captain nearly bit back, or shoved the kid, or something else, anything to show the boy his place, but he didn't. Not once he took a good look at Varian.

His young face was wide eyed and searching around the room. The tear tracks, swollen cheeks, and red rimmed, fearful eyes, all gave away something Varian was not saying. The kid looked terrible. No physically worse than the day before, but he looked… shaken. The Captain exhaled, softening. "You okay, kid?" He asked, tentatively, as if talking with a skittish cat.

Varian didn't respond, only turned his head away and sniffed, before rubbing the back of his hand across his cheek discreetly. The rest of his 'escort', on the other side of the door, plus the sliver of bright sunlight peeking into the room all provided enough clues for Varian to know that it was time to go back to the courtroom and receive his sentence. Varian felt again the familiar stab to the heart, and churn of the stomach, that was anxiety. That dream had felt so real… maybe it was. Varian couldn't prove whether or not it had been a dream…

Frustrated by Varian's ignorance, the Captain felt the urge to shake his head, wondering why he even bothered with this kid. He is a bad person, and that's all there is to say. 14 or 40, a bad person is a bad person, and a bad person can't be fixed. At least, that's what the Captain kept trying to convince himself of, with the image of Cassandra injured by Varian's hand as his proof.

Somehow, though, the man knew that he couldn't see this kid like that. Not completely at least. Still, the Captain forcibly brought Varian to his feet by hauling him up by the arm. Varian whimpered, but otherwise complied, frozen. "We can't be late." the man said, working with the chains and shackles that would soon bind Varian.

The boy dissociated as his mobility was chained to the minimum, during his walk through the dungeons, and then the lower, less glamorous parts of the castle. The almost painful grip that Pete and Stan had on his biceps felt like nothing more than a slight pressure. He disregarded the near blinding headache, the ache of his unhealed ribs, the low grumble in his stomach, everything.

It was peaceful, to not feel.

What finally pulled him back into his mind was the bright sun streaming in a grand window in the palace corridor. He had seen these windows yesterday too, but it had been raining, and not on the right angle to the sun to stream through like this. Varian's heart ached as he realized how much he missed the sun. It only took a moment for Varian to orient himself, he recognized what was out the window as the courtyard. He had gone to the science expo there each year since he was very young. Always spectating, eventually competing. He had gone to many other events there as well. One year he and his father were lucky enough to get a space to release their lanterns for the lost Princess from that courtyard. Varian thought bitterly for a moment about the lanterns, wishing they hadn't worked. He shook that from his thoughts, as even though he and Rapunzel ended off badly… very badly... if they hadn't met, he'd have missed out on some great friends.

Varian's train of thought came to a halt when he realized that the front doors of the palace, although not in sight, were nearby. Varian didn't consider the layers of Guards inside and outside of those doors, or how his ankles were chained together, leaving him just enough space for a pace, or how his arms were bound tightly to his chest, leaving him as helpless as an infant, should a fight arise. He also didn't think of Ruddiger, and how he'd be leaving without him. He only thought of his dream, and how scary the notion of being led to the gallows was. Varian did not want to think about how scared he was OF the gallows… the walk there was all his phycee would allow him. No, he wasn't thinking rationally, he was acting off of fear and self preservation. But, if the dream was real... if he was headed toward his own execution… What's the harm now?

When Varian halted suddenly, the guards all instantly thought this was going to be the same as yesterday. He'd be nervous, but then a quick talk and he'd comply. But today, when the sudden stop made Pete and Stan's grip on his arms falter, Varian took the opportunity. He spun around and ran on a diagonal, so not to crash into Phillip, who was behind him. He made it farther than he had really expected deep down. But alas, Philip caught up quickly and tripped Varian from the chain between his feet. Unable to brace himself in the chains, he crashed forward face first.

He felt the hot liquid before he felt the pain, as his nose erupted with blood. Immediately after he hit the ground, he felt someone's knee on his back and a hand on his head, pinning him firmly to the scratchy carpet of the palace corridor. Varian's breath had been knocked from his lungs, and his ribs screamed at him. He finally registered the pain in his face, and when he heaved in some air again, he could not hold back an agonized cry. If only he could dissociate again, but Varian had no control over when it happened. Now, for the second time since he was arrested, the first time being the night Ruddiger had been taken away, Varian didn't care if the guards saw him as weak. He sobbed. As much as he wanted the pressure off, he didn't fight the person holding him down. He just lied there limply, accepting his helplessness.

Even when he did feel the pressure on him alleviate, Varian remained limp, his tears mixing with blood and puddling on the floor.

Varian groaned through his sobs when he felt large hands try turning him over. Varian squeezed his eyes shut and curled into a ball on his side, not allowing them to roll him over any further, or to, god forbid, stand him back up and march him into court ready-or-not.

He went from limp, to very tense. Laying there with his knees near his chest, and his forehead near his knees. He could still feel a hand on his arm, but it wasn't rough, only cautious. He heard the deep voices of the guards. They were probably speaking to him, but he wasn't listening.

"Kid? Varian? Varian! Answer me!" Boomed the Captain, slightly shaking him with the hand already placed near Varian's shoulder. Next, Pete sank down near the boy. "Hey buddy, it's ok! Are you hurt anywhere other than your face?" still no reply. Phillip tried next, not crouching down, but just nudging his back with the toe of his boot. "Come on, kid. We don't have time for this." he said with a roll of his eyes. Stan glared at Phillip.

The Captain spoke again, this time not directed to Varian. "Okay... okay. Phillip, Stan, close off this corridor. Pete, go tell Nigel we've been delayed, and come back with some ice and a cloth." the Captain ordered.

With curt nods all around, the men dispersed.

The Captain sighed, and sunk down, sitting next to Varian and leaning against the wall, but dutifully never removing his hand from the prisoner. "You're all kinds of messed up, aren't you, kid?" The Captain said, much more to himself than to Varian, and solemnly rather than bitter or harsh. He gave Varian's arm a supportive squeeze. Varian just sobbed again.

"Come on Varian. Are you hurt? Are you crying because you're hurt? If you're hurt just say so! I can help you." the Captain pleaded.

Varian opened his eyes, just a little. His face, though now covered in blood, relaxed. "I'm really scared." He whispered, in a high pitched voice. The Captain felt a pang in his chest. "What are you scared of? Us? Me?" the Captain continued. Varian shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut again. "The… the Royal family? Are you scared of them?" Varian didn't say anything now but he opened his eyes again. Ignoring the question, he said "I'm really sorry." Another flow of tears followed.

The Captain sighed. "We know you are, Varian. And you did good saying so yesterday." The man assured him.

Varian shook his head. "No. I'm sorry for Cassandra." he said, his voice squeaky and choked. Varian met the older man's eyes.

The Captain was taken aback for a moment. "Oh um, thank you, Varian. For saying that." Varian sobbed another small sob. "I just want to tell her that, and Rapunzel too. I want to tell them myself, before… you know…" the boy cried.

The Captain was confused. "Before what?" he said. Varian hid his face as he sobbed again. Varian muttered and mumbled, barely audibly, until the Captain was hit with realization. "Oh. oh! Varian, no. That's not, no!" The Captain rambled, caught off guard by the idea that Varian thinks… no! He is 14, that would be cruel, inhuman!

Varian turned his head just a little, trying to read the Captain's expression. He looked baffled by the notion, and Varian didn't understand why. "I know what I'm charged with. If they could execute me twice they would. Eugene nearly was, just for stealing an artifact! I did that, and stole the actual Queen! And more..." Varian said, exasperated.

"Varian, that was Rider's 17th offense. And that is just in Corona! He was a well known criminal. Every village, town and kingdom for miles had a warrant out for him. At the time, he needed to be stopped and he'd proven several times that no jail could hold him. Not to mention, he was 10 years older then, than you are now. His crimes were motivated by greed, yours were… well, you had extenuating circumstances. Corona hasn't sentenced an execution since Rider, and after the situation with him, the grounds have changed for it. I don't know what has been decided on, but I am confident that it's not that." The Captain explained, leaving out the possibility of it occurring when Varian gets older, as the Captain had overheard King Fredric mention. But then he rethought it again. No, the Queen would not allow that. She couldn't. Could she?

"Really…?" Varian whispered, tears still flowing, but now seemingly from relief instead of fear.

"Really. And no matter what happens, you'll be well informed, and I'll be by your side. You don't have to be afraid. Not like this. Nobody can function like this." said the Captain. The man felt a stab of guilt. Really, he didn't know what the outcome would be for Varian, and he had no say in the matter. He should not be making promises.

Varian huffed what sounded like the ghost of a laugh. "Yeah… tell me about it." he said, attempting to smile a little.

The Captain reached out to Varian's bound hands and pulled the boy up to a sitting position, leaning him against the wall next to himself, and Varian let him. "Just relax a minute. Pete is coming back with something for your nose." the Captain said while bringing himself to his feet. It was in his nature to be one step ahead of any threat, and Varian was still a threat.

The boy just nodded, and attempted to wipe away the blood that was still dripping from his increasingly purple nose, using his bound hands.

Pete made his reentrance a moment later, with a dry cloth, a wet cloth, and some ice in a small sack. He approached at a light jog, his eyes shining with concern. Varian looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Pete crouched in front of him, who instinctively curled his knees further into his chest at the close contact.

Pete reached out with the wet cloth, stopping a few inches from Varian's face. "Uhhh, may I?" said the awkward man, politely. Varian met his eyes for a quick moment, before nodding.

Pete then wiped around Varian's nose, causing the boy to flinch and wince. Then his mouth and chin, cleaning up the streaks and smears of red. When he finished, he switched the wet cloth out for the dry one and held it steady, under Varian's nostrils in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Pete looked up at the Captain, who was towering over them both. "Um, Sir, I think his nose might be broken…"

The Captain heaved a long sigh. "I figured as much as well." He said, nodding his head and looking at Varian, as if searching for something.

Varian looked between the two men, waiting for someone to say something but nobody did for several moments.

Finally, though, the Captain broke off the silence. "Once the bleeding stops, we will head in." He looked down at Varian, who met his eyes shyly, feeling awkward with Pete still holding a cloth to his nose. "You can ice it while you're in there." He assured him. Varian couldn't nod so he just blinked, beginning to feel panicked again.

Varian repeated to himself some facts in his mind. He always found he worked better with facts.

\- He faced the crowds of people yesterday and it had been... fine.

\- The Captain says they aren't going to kill him.

\- The Captain is trustworthy.

Wait, no. Not that last one, that's not a fact… just a feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know your thoughts!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm going to say this now, and I'll say it again later. I AM SO SORRY!
> 
> (Enjoy!)

Varian was led into the courtroom by his escort, who all but the Captain dispersed once Varian was seated, and Identical to the previous day, the room rose to their feet for Judge Benson and for the King and Queen. The only difference was that today, Varian held a sack of dripping ice to his progressively bruising face. The Captain had undone the chain binding Varian's hands to his chest, so now he clutched the ice between both hands and kept it pressed against his nose. Luckily, the bleeding had stopped, and with help from Pete, almost all evidence from the bleed had been wiped away.

The Judge and the King and Queen all had a similar reaction to Varian's bruises. Queen Arianna was the first to address it.

When she entered the courtroom, she looked at Varian. He hung his head low, as he had for most of the previous day as well. But when Varian glanced up curiously, to look at the people entering the room, Arianna noticed. She had been about to seat herself in her throne when she saw him. His swollen nose was concealed behind the ice, but the inky bruising peeked out from behind his hands, and he had the beginnings of two black eyes from the impact. Not to mention the leftover smears of blood on his hands and a little bit on his face.

Arianna let go of her husband's hand and made a Bee-line to where Varain stood before his bench. The whole room stopped, and watched the scene tensely. Several guards made a move toward them, nervous of their Queen being too close to the boy. The Captain strongly grasped Varian's shoulders and pushed him back to a seated position on the bench. Varian made a small, involuntary noise because of the unexpected force. The Captain's hands remained firmly pushing on Varian's shoulder, as if to keep him down.

The Queen ignored all the unnecessary commotion and crouched down to be eye level with Varian. When he visibly stiffend, Arianna slowed down her movements, and softened her own body language to combat his. Varian slowly took his hands and the ice pack away from his face to rest on his lap. He was face to face with the Queen, but he averted his eyes in every direction other than into hers.

"Varian… what happened?" she asked softly, her eyes shining with concern.

Varian opened his mouth, but said nothing. How could he tell the Queen he had tried to run away while chained up in the middle of four guards? Luckily, he wouldn't have to, as the Captain spoke instead.

"Your Highness, Varian had a moment of hesitation and showed some resistance. Officer Phillip detained him by the ankle shackles and he tripped forward, his face hitting the floor, hard. His resistance was not violent or threatening, and the injury was accidental, and I'll take him to the infirmary once he's done here. I am prepared to write an incident report at the soonest opportunity." he explained, his posture straight as a rod. His hands remained gripping Varian's shoulders, even though the Captain knew Varian was no security risk at the moment.

The Queen nodded slowly, processing his words, and then responded to the Captain. "Okay. Thank you, Captain." She then looked back at Varian, who continued to avoid meeting the womens eyes. "Do you need to go to the infirmary now, Varian? This can wait a while longer, if you're in too much pain…" the Queen said with sincerity.

Varian considered her offer, but it took him almost no time to decide against delaying this anymore. He didn't know if his mind could survive walking through those doors another time. No, he'd get it over with now. "Um- n-no thank you. I'm ok." he said, voice cracking. "Your majesty! ...Y- your majesty." he added quickly.

She gave him a tiny smile and a curt nod before standing back up.

Before heading to her throne she approached Judge Benson's stand, and the two exchanged quiet words. Varian and the Captain assumed that she was informing him of the situation. The Captain released the pressure he was holding on the boy and Varian began to ice his nose again. Then the Judge began.

"Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you all for joining us again. Today we will be hearing the verdict on the case of Varian, son of Quiran. Their majesties and myself sat together until well into the evening yesterday, and we have come up with a fitting sentence." said Judge Benson.

Varian stiffened and his heart raced. He removed the ice from his face again and put it, and his hands, in his lap. Staring down at his hands with wide eyes, he awaited his fate.

"Varian." the Judge addressed. Varian looked up quickly, feeling very on edge.

"If you need me to slow down, or repeat anything, just say so. I can see you aren't feeling the best today." the man continued.

Varian just nodded in response.

"Okay. Let's proceed. Varian, you are hereby charged with the following crimes:

Treason, on multiple accounts

Attack on the royal guard and volunteers, and conspiracy thereof

Destruction of public property

The assault charges against one Lady Cassandra have been dropped, due to a letter arriving this morning from the alleged victim. Lady Cassandra has stated that she does not wish to press charges." The Judge said.

Varian's mouth fell agape. Cass didn't want to press charges? ...Why? No. Don't question it. Be thankful. He closed his mouth.

Varian was shocked by this. The Captain however, was not shocked at all.

Judge Benson carried on. "Now, I require everyone's full attention for the sentencing, because there is a lot that I need you all to understand."

Varian's heart raced in his chest.

Judge Benson removed his glasses and took a deep breath before he spoke again.

Varian swallowed.

"Corona law states that anyone who has committed more than one act of treason in the span of three years will face execution by hanging. Varian has commited many more than one in a much shorter time span, therefore this will be a part of his sentence."

Varian's breath caught in his chest, and his head spun. No tears came, no fueled anger, no desperate thoughts. Varian felt as if the world and his brain all came to a screeching halt. The only sign that he was still alive was how fast his heart was beating in his chest. That, and the muffled explosion of noise from behind him. Soon Varian's fingers and toes felt cold and numb, and the ice pack in his lap that had been steadily melting cold water onto his pants, turned hot? How could that be?… oh. Oh, no…

The Captain reacted much the same as the rest of the people in the room. Shocked, and not quite sure what to do. He composed his shock quickly, when he thought of Varian… His very fear… The Captain came to Varian's side, he expected to see tears. Or anger, or something. But he saw nothing. Varian looked straight ahead, frozen in terror.

That was when he noticed the growing dark spot on Varian's khaki colour palace issued trousers. Oh. Ugh! Oh!

Varian seemed to notice at that moment as well, as he broke out of his shocked state to look down at himself, and then toward the Captain, who was crouched to Varian's eye level at his side. His eyes were wide, and the dark bruises underneath them made his eyes pop to look even bigger.

The Captain again had to compose his shock. This was no big deal, he reminded himself. Cassandra wet the bed for years after he'd taken her in, he could handle a little accident. Could he really blame the kid? He's just been sentenced to death. Death by hanging. The Captain himself felt his stomach flip around and tie itself into knots.

While the room was still in havoc, and Judge Benson tapped away with his gavel, calling for silence, the Captain slid off the coat of his uniform and moved to drape it over Varian's lap.

The boy jumped a little and whimpered at the surprise touch. The Captain calmly shushed him and he relaxed a little bit.

"I'm sorry…" Varian whispered to the Captain, his voice shaking more than it ever has before.

The Captain just shook his head, communicating to Varian that an apology was unnecessary. He moved back to his spot behind Varian, and laid a gentle hand on Varian's shoulder. Varian tensed, but then the Captain started moving his thumb, rubbing the boy's shoulder soothingly, and Varian soon relaxed into his touch.

"Breath, kid." The Captain said, over Varian's shoulder.

He did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY!
> 
> I know what you're all thinking: "Cate, how dare you." Well just wait, don't get your knickers in a twist, just wait and see. 
> 
> (I am SO sorry)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I've been thinking lately about how weird it is that people who I don't know at all, read my writing. Like, you all live just as full and vibrant lives as me but I don't know anything about it and none of you know anything about mine. I'm not suggesting you should care about my life, it's just... strange.
> 
> Okay, existential crisis over. I have way too much time to think lately, haha. But if you do want to know anything about my life, shoot me a message! I want to know about your lives! (But not in a creepy way, I swear.)
> 
> Alright, enjoy the chapter!

"Order! Order!" Judge Benson called out.

It didn't happen. Discussion had overtaken the court. "Just a boy-" "should be put down now-" "good." "Fair" "unfair" "a child-". There were no shouts of glee, and no calls of protest, and only bits and pieces of the noise was discernible.

Varian looked at the Judge, standing at his podium with a flustered expression, as he demanded quiet with no success. He then looked at the King, who sat ignorant of the commotion. He pointed his gaze to the ceiling, an almost bored expression on his face. Then Varian looked at the Queen. She appeared to be flustered as well, as she watched Judge Benson hopefully.

Queen Arianna noticed Varian's gaze, and their eyes met. He looked distraught and terrified. She may have imagined it, but she swore she saw a look of pleading in his sad blue eyes. The Queen knew she needed to do something! There was more he needed to hear!

Queen Arianna stood up from her throne. "QUIET!"

And then the room was silent.

Arianna cleared her throat, brushed the skirt of her dress and said. "Thank you." Before pointedly ignoring her husband's surprised expression, and taking her seat again. In fact, she ignored all of the surprised faces staring at her with wide eyes. She nodded to Judge Benson to continue, before stealing another glance of Varian. He wasn't watching her anymore, but instead staring at his hands in his lap. The Queen noticed that Varian's lap was covered by the coat of a guard's uniform. The Captain's, she connected, upon glancing at the Captain who stood behind the boy, missing his coat. How peculiar.

The Judge shook off his surprise quickly and addressed the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen! Please contain yourselves until I am finished. There is much more to hear!" He said, pausing for a moment, before he continued.

"Varian." he addressed.

Varian's gaze didn't move from his hands, but his eyes were wide and his shoulders were visibly rising and falling with each heavy breath.

"For the crimes you committed, a death sentence is standard. We must follow the law here and write in your sentence that you are scheduled for execution."

Varian still didn't look, but Judge Benson paused, awaiting some kind of confirmation that he understood. Varian rapidly nodded his head up and down. He understood. He wouldn't argue that he didn't deserve it. He hurt people. He scared people. He was dangerous. Who would take care of Ruddiger…?

"However, it is also law that said execution can not take place until you are of age to be recognized as an adult. Therefore, you are currently scheduled to be executed four years and four months from now, on November 8th. Exactly one week after your 18th birthday." The Judge explained, reading off some parchment in his hands.

Hearing the words helped Varian to process, and with the shock wearing off, a single tear rolled down the young teen's face. He mourned the loss of the rest of his life, and oh how it ached.

"And on your 18th birthday, you will be retried." the Judge added.

Varian and the Captain both perked their heads higher. Say what?

The Judge allowed himself to continue, addressing everyone. "At the time of the crimes, Varian was in a very dark place. He was grieving a significant loss and he was incredibly frustrated and lonely. All of this trauma for someone so young, it can explain Varian's action."

He turned his gaze back to Varian. "But Varian, it does not excuse any of them. And you are a very intelligent young man so I am sure you understand that. We want the next four years to be rehabilitating for you Varian. Any progress that you make in that time, as well as any misbehaviour and re offences will all be taken into account at that time." the Judge finally explained.

Queen Arianna sighed a breath of relief. Could he possibly have taken any longer getting to the point?

"The goal here is that you learn to bea functioning member of society. And more importantly, a kid." said the Judge. Then he looked at the Queen and gave a light chuckle. "In our discussion we had used the term 'normal kid' but decided that that is unrealistic for a boy such as yourself. So I suppose what I mean is, we want you to feel like your old self again." The Judge explained with a humorous smile.

Varian forced himself to smirk, in recognition of the joke and the praise. How could he be his old self again? That felt so far away now, everything had changed. Dad… He couldn't be his old self without his father… could he? He was shaking fiercely, and his heart beated with such force, Varian wondered if it was about to explode.

The Judge replaced the smile with a serious look. "Varian, if all goes as planned, you will be pardoned for all crimes at your retrial, and the execution will be canceled. Okay?" he said.

Varian nodded, continuing to look at his shaking hands with wide eyes.

"Okay." said Judge Benson to Varian, before addressing the whole room again. "Court is now adjourned! I ask that spectators make their exit first!" he announced with the couple taps of his gavel.

Noise erupted in the room once again as conversation broke out amongst citizens while they all shuffled to leave. After all that just happened, nobody realized how unusual it was for the spectators to leave before the prisoner, and especially, before the King and Queen.

It took 10 minutes or more for the citizens to clear out of the palace. All the while Varian, the Captain and other guards, Judge Benson, the King and Queen and Nigel all remained in place.

Most of the guards stationed throughout the room wore stressed and shocked expressions, still reeling from all the chaos that ensued this afternoon. The King and Queen and the Judge just looked tired. Nigel and the Captain held straight faces, but neither were unaffected by the day. Varian sat trembling, the Captain's coat still draped over his knobby knees. Silent tears rolled down his bruised face. He was in shock, and struggling to process the information thrown at him.

Now that the room was cleared of citizens, Judge Benson spoke to him. "Are you okay, Varian?" he asked, his concern evident in his voice.

Varian didn't respond, but he closed his eyes and tried to slow down his breathing.

"I'm sorry to have frightened you." the Judge said.

Varian's bottom lip trembled as more hot tears came to his eyes. Addressing his emotions only made them worse.

The Captain clue in then, that Judge Benson asked everyone to clear out so nobody would see the evidence of Varian's accident. He appreciated that on Varian's behalf. The kid might be a genius criminal, but he is still 14. The Captain recalled when Cassandra was that age, embarrassment was the ultimate enemy. What others thought of her was incredibly important. He assumed Varian felt the same.

When Judge Benson dismissed them, the Captain removed his coat discreetly from Varian's lap and laid the soiled material next to him on a bench to retrieve later.

"Sir… I- I am so sorry- I don't know…" Varian stammered. What parts of his face weren't blue with bruises, were beet red.

"It's okay, kid. Let's get you to the shower." The Captain said, matter of factly while Pete and Stan took their places on either side of the boy.

He was brought directly to the prisoner's bathroom that he had used just a day before, and was permitted to wash. Varian felt absolutely mortified about the accident. Was he five? Surely that is what those who knew thought of him, and surely everyone has noticed. Ugh! Stupid stupid stupid!

After he washed, he was then taken to the palace infirmary, now just led by the Captain and Phillip. The doctor was a joyful woman, and she did not cower from Varian's presence as so many would have. In fact, when the group entered, she smiled brightly at all of them. "Good day boys!" she greeted. "Good day to you too doc." The Captain responded, before leading Varian further into the room. Varian was seated on an exam table, requiring a little help climbing up to it. The Guards then stood back a few feet to give the Doctor space. Varian remained shackled only at the wrists and ankles, so he was a little bit surprised they would take a risk like that.

The woman approached Varian with a smile. Varian had never liked visiting the doctor as a child, it just for some reason made him nervous. Even though at this point in Varian's life, he had been through much scarier things than a doctor's visit, he still felt those nerves.

"Varian. Hello!" said doc with a smile.

Varian responded with an unsure nod.

"What, you don't talk?" she pushed.

Varian blushed. "I do. I'm sorry." Varian said, his voice cracking.

"So you do. Alright then, you don't have to chat up a storm but you do need to answer my questions when I ask them, understand?" doc said. Varian started to nod and then remembered what she just said. "Uh- I mean, uh, yes. I understand." He stammered, looking down at his hands.

When asked about the injuries, Varian and doc allowed the Captain to do all the explaining. When the doctor had gathered a general list of everything that needed attention, she stepped back and set aside the parchment she had been making notes on, and asked "Do you mind if I take a look?"

Varian felt nervous and uncomfortable, but knew he had to obey. "Ok." He said quietly.

"Ok, Varian. Let's lay you down," She said, placing her hands on his shoulder and laying him to the pillow, his chains clamouring loudly with the movement.

"Good, now can I lift up your shirt?" She asked.

"Mmhm.." Varian agreed hesitantly.

She did so slowly, and then stopped when his bruises became visible. The doctor gently applied pressure to the bruised area, watching Varian's expression for pain. When he winced, she focused on the area that had caused the pain, and asked him some questions about what movements hurt and if his breathing was affected. Varian was found to indeed have a cracked rib. Luckily, she deemed it was fine to be left as is. It would heal properly on it's own.

Upon examining him, doc brought up the fact that he appeared to be rather malnourished.

The guards swore to her that he was receiving proper portions, but he never ate more than a few bites.

When asked, Varian couldn't tell them why exactly. His stomach was filled with too much anxiety and dread to make room for food. He did not say that thought, he just said he wasn't hungry. They clearly did not believe him, but nobody pushed the subject any further.

After doc finished with his rib, she examined his nose.

She sighed, and informed Varian and the guards that it would require intervention in order to heal properly.

Varian was asked to sit up, and he did so with doc's help.

When the time came, he did all he could to stay silent and still as his broken bone was broken again at the doctors' hands, and then moved about until it's position was corrected. His attempts were unsuccessful however, as Varian whimpered in pain. He squeezed his hands into tight fists, and squeezed his eyes shut. The pain and the sounds of crunching bone made him feel nauseated and light headed.

When he opened his eyes again just a few seconds later, he was surprised to find that the room was spinning. Why is the room spinning? And now it felt like a blanket had been tossed over his head. He could see light and colour but there was no focus. He could hear a couple of muffled voices but no words. The air was hot and thin and the longer the blanket stayed over his head the less air there was. The blanket became heavier, and he could not hold himself up anymore. Varian felt a rush of motion. Falling. He waited for the impact but it didn't come, instead he felt strong hands catch him and lower him gently onto his back. He thought of his father as he fell unconscious.

.

.

.

Varian lied on the familiar cot in his cell. The last of the days' sun shone a strip of bright red through his window. Varian stared at the light, trying to picture what the sunset must look like this evening.

After he had fainted in the infirmary, he woke up about two minutes later to find the Captain and the Doctor hovering overhead. It had startled him, but both of them quickly put their hands out to stop him from jolting up. He had stayed in the infirmary for a total of two hours, resting and icing his now bandaged nose. He felt embarrassed that he had passed out, but to be honest he was surprised he hadn't done so sooner. He's never been good with pain or blood.

He was given his dinner there. It was some kind of bland soup and a bread roll. Each time Varian tried to quit on the meal, doc encouraged another bite, then another and another, until more than half of the meal was eaten.

Varian knew he had to do as he was told, so he kept trying each time she asked. Every bite made his stomach churn more and more. Doc had thankfully eased up on him when his expression grew stressed.

After that, and the two glasses of water doc had him drink, the pair of guards took Varian back to his cell, which brings him to where he lay now.

Varian felt more calm now, watching the sun, than he had in many months. So much happened in the last three days that it felt more like three weeks. He hadn't had time to stop and process much, until now it seemed. Now he had plenty of time, fours years and four months, to be exact. And after that…

Varian furrowed his brows and rolled over onto his side, grimacing when it hurt.

After that, he didn't know.

Pushing the thought from his mind, he watched the beam of sunlight become dimmer and dimmer, until night fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Things are going to start looking up for Varian, yay! Let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there folks! So… this is the final chapter.
> 
> ….Oooooof PART ONE!
> 
> This chapter felt like a natural ending for this portion of the story, and so Lost Cause will conclude here. However, Varian's story is not yet finished and so a continuation is already in the works. See my end note for a little more on that.
> 
> I sincerely hope all of you enjoy this conclusion.

When the sun at last disappeared, Varian decided he would try to sleep. He tossed and turned, he adjusted his blanket and pillow… all to no avail.

Defeated, Varian sat up on his cot, and pushed himself into the corner. He wrapped his blanket around his shoulders, trying to fend off the shivering, and brought his forehead to his knees. Varian assumed that by now, he would be accustomed to the temperature, but feeling unable to get warm never stops bothering someone.

Varian looked up when he heard the footsteps of a guard's steel toed boots. But… that wasn't all. The sound of heels clicking against stone rang through the echoey corridor alongside the boots. Now that was odd.

Varian's heart lurched when he saw the outline of a petite figure. A woman. Soon, she was close enough to be identified as Queen Arianna. Any other time, Varian would be shrinking himself away, but that was not the case tonight. Not when he saw who else the Queen and the Guard, Phillip, had with them.

"Ruddiger!" Varian expelled, standing up from his cot too fast for someone who had fainted just a couple of hours ago.

Ruddiger was squirming in the Queen's arms, itching to get back to Varian, just as Varian was itching to get back to Ruddiger. Queen Ariana chuckled at the friendly animal. "Alright, alright! Off you go." she said, letting the racoon down.

Ruddiger ran directly to the cell. Varian kneeled on the other side of the bars, his hands reaching through to make contact with his pet again after being seperated for much too long. Ruddiger pawed at the bars, and attempted unsuccessfully to stick his head between them. Varian scratched behind his ears through the bars, feeling choked up over the reunion. Varian was really glad to have him back. He needed him.

A short while later, the Queen and the Guard reached the cell. Varian wasn't sure how to behave with the Queen. Did he bow? He hadn't bowed when he had kidnapped her… He did now, though. Standing up, the chain at his ankle clattering, Varian grasped his hands together awkwardly, and bowed his head.

Somewhat thankfully, he did not have to stand there wondering how long to hold the position, because Phillip demanded immediately that Varian turn and place his hands against the back wall.

Varian looked at Ruddiger again, and then obeyed the order.

As soon as the guard had the barred door opened wide enough, Ruddiger was through, and purring into Varian's ankles. Varian expected to hear the door click and lock shut again right away, but it hadn't. He glanced over, hands still pressed against the wall and saw none other than the Queen herself stride on in.

Phillip also began to enter, but Arianna put out a hand to stop him. "Thank you Phillip. Please leave us for a while." she said in a way that was kind and polite, but authoritative.

Phillip looked uneasy. "Are you sure, your highness? Perhaps I should shackle his wrists." he said, again taking a step toward Varian.

The Queen put out her hand again. "No, that won't be necessary. Thank you, Phillip." she said, dismissively.

"Your Highness-" he started.

"Phillip please do as I ask." Queen Ariana said, still keeping her tone calm and kind.

The guard sighed, and stepped out of the cell. He closed over the door but neglected to lock it while the Queen was inside. "I won't be far, your Highness." he said, bowing, before he turned on his heel and strode away down the corridor.

The Queen waited until he was a few metres gone before she turned to Varian.

Varian still stood, with his hands, that appeared to be trembling, pressed against the stone wall, his eyes pointed at her feet.

She smiled sadly. "You can relax Varian, it's okay." she said

Varian slowly lowered his hands to his sides, but still did not meet her eye. Ruddiger jumped up onto Varian's cot and then from there he scurried up the boy's body to his shoulder, where he made himself comfortable.

The Queen huffed a little laugh. "He certainly missed you! But don't worry, I took good care of him." she said.

Now Varian looked up.

Ariana grimaced when the moonlight illuminated his young face, and she saw how bruised he had become.

Varian met her eyes, but looked away quickly. He did this again back and forth a few times while he said "He- he was with you?"

The Queen took a slow step toward the skittish boy and was pleased when he didn't flinch or move away. "Of course, we wouldn't just toss him to the streets, you know. And it was nice to have some company with Rapunzel being gone and all." she said.

Varian could have said something snarky about how he could have used some company too, but that wasn't the part of her sentence to catch his attention. "Rap- uh- the Princess is gone? Gone where?" he sputtered, intrigued.

Realizing he probably was not allowed to ask that, he quickly added "Or, uh- nevermind. Sorry." and looked down again, still undeniably curious as to where Rapunzel had gone.

The Queen shook her head slowly and took another step forward. "Do you mind if I sit?" she asked, gesturing to Varian's cot.

Varian quickly nodded. He was surprised she even felt the need to ask. Afterall, this was her palace, her dungeon, so technically, her cot. He supposed she was just being courteous.

She sat primly on the edge of the cot, and smoothed her skirts.

Varian felt awkward now, so he sat on the floor, his back against the wall and his arms wrapped around his knees. Ruddiger relocated himself to nuzzle underneath his boy's knees.

The Queen began to explain. "Rapunzel, Eugene, Cassandra, and a couple more friends of theirs headed out of Corona the day after you got here. They're looking for answers about the black rocks."

Varian felt relieved to hear this. They weren't at his trial because they were out of town, not because they despised him! Well, he considered, they could still despise him… But they were off to learn about the rocks! Maybe they would discover something that can destroy them and it would destroy the amber too! They might be able to help- no. No! They can't help Dad. Nobody can. Dad is… gone.

Varian's spiraling train of thoughts was cut off when the Queen spoke again.

"They've written you letters." she said, producing three rolled up pieces of parchment from a well hidden pocket in her dress.

Varian's eyes grew wide and his posture straightened. When she offered them to him, he took them with a noticeably shaky hand.

He opened the first one.

_"Hey Pipsqueak,_

_Sooooo, how's jail? Sorry, sorry, insensitive, I know. But that's kind of my thing! Anyway, I'm trying to keep this short and sweet, so, Blondie told me about what happened to your Dad, and I guess that means you were alone for a good while. I've been there kid. That kind of thing can really mess with people. So I just wanted you to know that I don't totally blame you. I mean I don't totally trust you either, but come on! You almost killed my girlfriend! Buuuut I'm sure I can get past that too. Anyway, I hope you're holding up alright._

_\- Eugene (Flynn) Fitzherbert (Rider)_

_P.S, If you're going to be evil, and maybe this is just me, but I think you should try and bulk up a little. Those twigs for arms are just ...not threatening."_

Varian smiled, and gave a small chuckle. His heart felt full. Eugene had gone through a lot as a kid, Varian had heard. Maybe when they get back he could talk to him about… stuff. Varian pushed away the thought for now and unrolled the next letter.

_"Hi Kid,_

_As much as I want to sucker punch the daylights out of you for the shit you pulled, when Raps told me why you pulled it, it made it hard to be pissed at you. Don't get me wrong, it does not make it okay, but I get that you were hurting, and I'm really sorry you had to go through that. However, if you try something like that again, I WILL kick your little ass into next week._

_Rapunzel's been getting letters from her mother and she sent a list of everything they are trying to charge you with. When I saw you might get in trouble because I got hurt (I'm fine) (No thanks to you) I wrote back right away and told them to drop that one. I know you didn't mean for all of that to happen the way it did. Are you doing okay, kid? If you need me to write to my Dad, I will._

_Hope to hear back from you._

_\- Cassandra"_

Varian did not take any of Cassandra's harsh words to heart. For Cass, they're heartfelt.

Varian now unrolled the last letter, which he correctly assumed would be from Rapunzel.

_"Varian,_

_I need you to know that I am not upset with you. I hope you aren't upset with me anymore, because I really am sorry for not helping you during that storm, and I'm even more sorry for not checking on you after. I am still trying to get the hang of this. And not just the Princess stuff, having friends and relationships, responsibilities, freedom. It's all new. And now, there's even more new! We are out in the middle of anywhere, following the rocks. I'm going to figure these things out and we are going to fix Old Corona. Lucky we have Owl to keep flying these letters back and forth._

_My Mom told me that my Dad has been pretty stubborn about your case. He was scared, Varian, and he probably still is. Mom promised me that while I am away, she's got your back. If you need anything, just ask her. My parents have agreed to do what they can to help you, so please, just try. You are the smartest person I have ever met, and no, I haven't met a whole lot of people, but everyone else agrees with me too. You can use that to do so much good. You're no lost cause, Varian. I believe in that with all of my heart._

_I'll see you when I get back to Corona, and I'll tell you everything that I find out._

_Take care of yourself, you'll be okay._

_Your friend,_

_\- Rapunzel"_

Varian rolled the letter back up with tears in his eyes. They didn't hate him. They weren't even all that mad at him. Varian felt for the first time since before the storm, like he had someone in his corner. _"You're no lost cause"_ Rapunzel had said. Those four words went against everything that Varian had been telling himself since his arrest. Those four words restored a sense of hope in him, after he had deemed himself hopeless. They wanted to help him? Well… Varian supposed it couldn't hurt to try.

The Queen noticed Varian's composure begin to crumble and crack, she hoped they were happy tears. "Are you alright, Varian?" she said quietly.

Varian nodded, and hastily wiped away the tears that had escaped.

The Queen scooched closer to him, and he buried his face in his knees.

"What is it?" she asked him with a motherly softness in her voice.

Varian lifted his face from his knees a little bit and shook his head, as if in disbelief. He looked up at the Queen, and his eyes shone with relief. "They- they don't hate me." he said, his voice cracking.

The Queen's shoulders relaxed. "Oh, sweetheart. Come here." she said, reaching out for him.

Ariana was not entirely sure what she expected, but she didn't expect him to come to her side so quickly.

When he sat down next to her, the Queen wrapped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him close into her left side. With her right hand, she combed her fingers through his thick hair, while Ruddiger curled close next to Varian's other side.

Varian had been starved of compassionate human touch for so long, that when it was offered to him he accepted with no hesitation.

The Queen rocked the two of them side to side slowly. "I'm fairly certain Rapunzel is incapable of hating anyone, and it seems she spreads that trait to others, too. You're a good person Varian. You just need some help. You are extremely smart, but sweetie, you're still just a boy. You didn't have the emotional maturity to deal with what happened to your father, what happened to you, and so you dealt with it the only way that you could make sense of. It wasn't right, people were hurt and potentially could have been hurt much worse. It caused damage, and it scared people." she started.

Varian tried to pull back from her now, uncomfortable with all that she was saying. The Queen didn't let him though.

She stopped swaying and backed away from him just enough to look down and meet his bright eyes, her hands resting on his shoulders. "Yes, Your actions were bad. But you are not. I'm on your side, Varian. You are going to come through this and feel okay again. I promise. I really, truly, promise." she finished, and hugged him closely again.

Varian let his head drop on the Queen's bosom, and that was when the dam broke. His frail body shook with sobs. He cried of his relief, he cried of his new-found hope, and his second chance. He cried for the friends he hadn't lost. He cried for the father that he had lost, but was never able to properly grieve. He cried from the love that radiated off the woman who held him right now.

The Queen had tears coming to her own eyes as she soothed the damaged child. One hand carding the boy's hair and the other rubbing his shaking shoulders. She shushed and rocked him for an undetermined amount of time, ignoring the first two times Phillip had come down the corridor to check on her.

By the third time, Varian's sobs had turned into quiet whimpers, and the shaking of his shoulders had turned into a steady rise and fall. With him calmed at last, she pulled back slightly and looked down at him to find him looking back, his eyes swollen and red rimmed.

"It's far too dark and cold down here and this bed is as hard as a rock. What do you say we get out of here? I've had one of the extra staff's chambers set up for you." said the Queen.

Varian's eyes widened and his lips twitched into a faint smile. He nodded, and the two of them rose from where they sat.

With the Queen's arm still wrapped around his shoulders and Ruddiger cradled in his arms, Varian stepped out of the confines of the cell on his unsteady feet for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, thank you. Thank you so much for reading, for commenting, and I truly hope you all come back for the continuation.
> 
> I will post a notice on this story as an additional chapter to ensure everyone following this story is notified when part two is up. 
> 
> I also wanted to let you all know that I have another Tangled story in the works. An AU where Rapunzel and Cassandra got to grow up together, as sisters. It'll be angsty (because that is really my thing) and it'll be fluffy, and there will be a plot that just slightly deviates from the canon plot. If you're interested in reading that, give me a follow so you will be notified when it's up. If you have questions, ideas or suggestions about that story, or part one or two of Lost Cause, I would be happy to hear them!
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
> 
> Until next time, friends!


	11. Bonus Chapter

Hi friends! Just throwing this in here to let you all know that I have posted a 'Lost Cause' bonus chapter! It fits within the time skip between chapter one and two, and it is a heavily angsty song-fic of Anson Seabra's "Broken". (Details and links in the stories notes!)  
If you're interested (I hope you are!) just hit "Next Work" and it should take you right there!   
.  
.  
I am very sorry if you thought this was the notice for Part two! I'm focused on another story right now, but I can't get Varian off my mind and so I'm going to write my part two outline. Once my outline is made, the writing follows very quickly. I'm sure the first chapter will be along soon! I miss you all!


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